For unto you
is born this day
in the city of David,
a Saviour,
which is Christ the Lord.
-Luke 2:10-11.Tuesday, December 25
Joy to the World!!!
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
Saturday, December 8
Bah Humbug!
While I thoroughly enjoy the Christmas season, I do not enjoy the waiting-around-for-hours-upon-end in traffic. Although, truthfully, I have never waited for hours in traffic for anything that I remember. Except for Fourth of July festivities in the Dallas area earlier this year. That was a lot of waiting.
Anyhow, it irritates me to move along at a snail's pace in a vehicle that is meant to get me from one place to another in a timely manner. I could walk or bike faster to my destination during the holiday season. It's truly ridiculous.
You know what else is ridiculous? Thoughts that I will save for another day.
Anyhow, it irritates me to move along at a snail's pace in a vehicle that is meant to get me from one place to another in a timely manner. I could walk or bike faster to my destination during the holiday season. It's truly ridiculous.
You know what else is ridiculous? Thoughts that I will save for another day.
Friday, October 19
Meeting the Past
Today, I saw someone I haven't seen in several years.
I can't recall exactly the last time I saw her. It seems as though I worked with her one day and, the next day, she was gone.
Today's meeting was a brief one, but in that span of several minutes, my faith in humanity and my faith in myself was strengthened.
This woman remembered me. She remembered my hopes and my dreams and what I had talked about being so long ago. She remembered my friends and my plans for the future. I think I only worked with her for maybe six months, but, after all these years, she still remembered me.
It amazes me that she remembered me. Or remembers me, rather. She recognized me immediately. She was able to recall all these things I told her years ago as if I had just told her yesterday.
Lately, I had started to doubt myself and doubt my plans for law school. But seeing this woman today, seeing her eyes light up when I told her about going to law school, and hearing her say that she's excited for me and thinks law school is a great idea for me ("That's just what you wanted!") really made me realize that I am doing the right thing.
Affirmation... it's a wonderful thing.
I can't recall exactly the last time I saw her. It seems as though I worked with her one day and, the next day, she was gone.
Today's meeting was a brief one, but in that span of several minutes, my faith in humanity and my faith in myself was strengthened.
This woman remembered me. She remembered my hopes and my dreams and what I had talked about being so long ago. She remembered my friends and my plans for the future. I think I only worked with her for maybe six months, but, after all these years, she still remembered me.
It amazes me that she remembered me. Or remembers me, rather. She recognized me immediately. She was able to recall all these things I told her years ago as if I had just told her yesterday.
Lately, I had started to doubt myself and doubt my plans for law school. But seeing this woman today, seeing her eyes light up when I told her about going to law school, and hearing her say that she's excited for me and thinks law school is a great idea for me ("That's just what you wanted!") really made me realize that I am doing the right thing.
Affirmation... it's a wonderful thing.
Sunday, August 26
Robert Goulet and How to Be A Rockstar
Why, of all people, does Robert Goulet appear to wreak havoc in the office? I've seen the Emerald Nuts commercials several times and, while I understand that the afternoon sleepies often attack at work and that snacking on something rich in protein like Emerald Nuts, one can counteract the aftenoon weariness.
But Robert Goulet??
I don't know. I guess I'd much rather see William Shatner or something. Someone less obscure than Robert Goulet, whom I'd never even know about had it not been for Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place. If someone's going to come into my office and tear things up, I want to know who it is.
* * *
No, Nickleback, we don't all want to be rockstars. I'd like to be famous (I think), but I have no desire to drive fifteen cars or have a drug dealer on speed dial. Nor would I enjoy a bathroom that I could play football in or a huge tub that would fit ten plus me. Can you imagine cleaning that tub? Or the entire bathroom? I mean, I suppose, if you're a rockstar, you can hire someone to clean for you, but still.
I don't know if they're being sarcastic, but I really find the song annoying. I mean, the singer is so determined to be a rockstar that he'll even get a haircut and a name change. Well, whoop-dee-frickin'-do. What a transformation! The two most important ingredients in gaining fame and fortune are getting a haircut and changing your name. I mean, seriously, is that all it takes? No talent? No integrity? No self-respect?
Oh, wait. I'd forgotten for a moment what time period I live in. Of course, that's all it takes! Silly me for thinking people should be rewarded for their actual talents and merits, not their ability to change their appearance on a whim.
But Robert Goulet??
I don't know. I guess I'd much rather see William Shatner or something. Someone less obscure than Robert Goulet, whom I'd never even know about had it not been for Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place. If someone's going to come into my office and tear things up, I want to know who it is.
* * *
No, Nickleback, we don't all want to be rockstars. I'd like to be famous (I think), but I have no desire to drive fifteen cars or have a drug dealer on speed dial. Nor would I enjoy a bathroom that I could play football in or a huge tub that would fit ten plus me. Can you imagine cleaning that tub? Or the entire bathroom? I mean, I suppose, if you're a rockstar, you can hire someone to clean for you, but still.
I don't know if they're being sarcastic, but I really find the song annoying. I mean, the singer is so determined to be a rockstar that he'll even get a haircut and a name change. Well, whoop-dee-frickin'-do. What a transformation! The two most important ingredients in gaining fame and fortune are getting a haircut and changing your name. I mean, seriously, is that all it takes? No talent? No integrity? No self-respect?
Oh, wait. I'd forgotten for a moment what time period I live in. Of course, that's all it takes! Silly me for thinking people should be rewarded for their actual talents and merits, not their ability to change their appearance on a whim.
Saturday, August 18
Riding Along in My Automobile....
... I have time to reflect on things. These are some of the things I reflect on while driving down the highway.
"Now Accepting New Customers....."
This slogan was on a sign outside of a local business. However, I don't understand it. Aren't most successful businesses always accepting new customers? Aren't most businesses in general wanting customers of any kind? It seems to me to be a pretty desperate move by the business.
Cardinal rule of motorcycle riding: Always wear a helmet. You do not look "cool" or "cooler" by forgoing the use of a helmet. You just look stupid. A helmet is used to protect your brain from a serious collision. It makes a lot of sense to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle, seeing as how you don't have a steel cage to somewhat protect you from injury.
Why build a new building of office space to lease out when there are several empty buildings of office space in town that are not being used? Wouldn't it be a better use of money to invest it in something that would actually be used?
Are turn signals necessary? Blinkers? Because no one uses them. I mean, I try to use my blinkers as much as possible, but most other drivers do not use them. So, wouldn't it be a better use of money to not include them on a vehicle? If no one uses them, what's the point of including them? It's like the appendix. At one time, the appendix had a specific job. Now, it has been rendered useless because it does nothing. It came to not be used by people's digestive tracts and is now a waste of space. The only time it is used is when something gets caught in it and it must be removed. If we didn't have them, we wouldn't have to spend money to have them removed.
Same thing with blinkers/turn signals.
I find it awkward that Jennifer Garner is in the Neutrogena commercials. It's not some place that I'd expect to see her. It's terribly unnerving.
Why the hell is there a thing like brake dust? I was not aware of the existence of brake dust until I purchased my new vehicle. Now, I know what brake dust is and what it does and I am not happy! Like I don't have enough trouble keeping my car looking fabulous without the added dirt and grime of brake dust. Is it necessary for brakes to give off dust? And why didn't anyone tell me about this phenomenon before now??
Does it take a rocket scientist to fix a postage stamp machine? The post office in town has a broken stamp machine. Apparently, it has been broken for months. Why don't they fix it? Is it a monetary issue? Because as a government business, I would think that they would have the money to fix such a problem. Or is it because it takes a certain kind of genius to fix the machine and the last postage stamp machine fixer-upper keeled over in February? (I don't know if there really is such a thing as a postage stamp machine fixer-upper or if there is one that died in February. If there is one and that particular fixer-upper died in February, it is purely a coincidence that I have mentioned it.) I just don't understand what the big deal is. Fix the damn machine!!! Or stay open normal hours so that people can actually purchase stamps. It's not rocket science, people!
Unless it is. And if it is, I apologize for this rant.
Nah. I don't apologize for this rant. I like to rant. And ranting is what I shall do whenever I feel the need.
"Now Accepting New Customers....."
This slogan was on a sign outside of a local business. However, I don't understand it. Aren't most successful businesses always accepting new customers? Aren't most businesses in general wanting customers of any kind? It seems to me to be a pretty desperate move by the business.
Cardinal rule of motorcycle riding: Always wear a helmet. You do not look "cool" or "cooler" by forgoing the use of a helmet. You just look stupid. A helmet is used to protect your brain from a serious collision. It makes a lot of sense to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle, seeing as how you don't have a steel cage to somewhat protect you from injury.
Why build a new building of office space to lease out when there are several empty buildings of office space in town that are not being used? Wouldn't it be a better use of money to invest it in something that would actually be used?
Are turn signals necessary? Blinkers? Because no one uses them. I mean, I try to use my blinkers as much as possible, but most other drivers do not use them. So, wouldn't it be a better use of money to not include them on a vehicle? If no one uses them, what's the point of including them? It's like the appendix. At one time, the appendix had a specific job. Now, it has been rendered useless because it does nothing. It came to not be used by people's digestive tracts and is now a waste of space. The only time it is used is when something gets caught in it and it must be removed. If we didn't have them, we wouldn't have to spend money to have them removed.
Same thing with blinkers/turn signals.
I find it awkward that Jennifer Garner is in the Neutrogena commercials. It's not some place that I'd expect to see her. It's terribly unnerving.
Why the hell is there a thing like brake dust? I was not aware of the existence of brake dust until I purchased my new vehicle. Now, I know what brake dust is and what it does and I am not happy! Like I don't have enough trouble keeping my car looking fabulous without the added dirt and grime of brake dust. Is it necessary for brakes to give off dust? And why didn't anyone tell me about this phenomenon before now??
Does it take a rocket scientist to fix a postage stamp machine? The post office in town has a broken stamp machine. Apparently, it has been broken for months. Why don't they fix it? Is it a monetary issue? Because as a government business, I would think that they would have the money to fix such a problem. Or is it because it takes a certain kind of genius to fix the machine and the last postage stamp machine fixer-upper keeled over in February? (I don't know if there really is such a thing as a postage stamp machine fixer-upper or if there is one that died in February. If there is one and that particular fixer-upper died in February, it is purely a coincidence that I have mentioned it.) I just don't understand what the big deal is. Fix the damn machine!!! Or stay open normal hours so that people can actually purchase stamps. It's not rocket science, people!
Unless it is. And if it is, I apologize for this rant.
Nah. I don't apologize for this rant. I like to rant. And ranting is what I shall do whenever I feel the need.
Friday, July 27
A Veritable Potpourri of Crap
What is the meaning of the Toyota commercial where this man and woman are driving down the road and the woman refuses to pull over to get gas even though the gas gauge is on E? I mean, I understand that they're trying to demonstrate that the car gets exceptional gas mileage, but it's really kind of dumb. Why the hell doesn't the woman just pull over and fill up the car? The gas gauge is on E. Cars often stop moving once the gas gauge lands on E. Therefore, one might think she'd go ahead and get gas because she's eventually going to need it. Just pull the damn car over and get some gas, lady!
* * *
I was stalked briefly yesterday by some kid at the bookstore. The kid ended up being my cashier-person and also ended up following me out of the store and down the road a bit. It wasn't very thrilling, like the movie stars make it seem. I spent the majority of my brief stalking encounter trying to think of what I could use in my truck as a weapon. I shan't repeat what I decided to use here; you may be the stalker next time and I'll need to use my weapons.
* * *
I have a new job! And I lurve it!
I also want to go to law school. I am studying for the LSAT. This I do not lurve.
* * *
Where does one find a sledgehammer? At a home improvement store? Because my truck really needs one. Or, rather, I need one. My truck is in dire need of a... motivational speech of sorts. One that includes a demonstration involving a sledgehammer.
* * *
I'm just going to come right out and say this: I was disappointed with the concluding book to the Harry Potter series. Not your best work, J.K. It was unsatisfying and lackluster. Where was the pizzaz? The crazy out-of-left-field surprises that you're famous for? I wish you'd waited a few more years or something. I'm certain you could have done better.
That is my opinion and I shall state it wherever and whenever I please, despite the fact that I may be boo-ed at from all over the world for saying so.
* * *
I was stalked briefly yesterday by some kid at the bookstore. The kid ended up being my cashier-person and also ended up following me out of the store and down the road a bit. It wasn't very thrilling, like the movie stars make it seem. I spent the majority of my brief stalking encounter trying to think of what I could use in my truck as a weapon. I shan't repeat what I decided to use here; you may be the stalker next time and I'll need to use my weapons.
* * *
I have a new job! And I lurve it!
I also want to go to law school. I am studying for the LSAT. This I do not lurve.
* * *
Where does one find a sledgehammer? At a home improvement store? Because my truck really needs one. Or, rather, I need one. My truck is in dire need of a... motivational speech of sorts. One that includes a demonstration involving a sledgehammer.
* * *
I'm just going to come right out and say this: I was disappointed with the concluding book to the Harry Potter series. Not your best work, J.K. It was unsatisfying and lackluster. Where was the pizzaz? The crazy out-of-left-field surprises that you're famous for? I wish you'd waited a few more years or something. I'm certain you could have done better.
That is my opinion and I shall state it wherever and whenever I please, despite the fact that I may be boo-ed at from all over the world for saying so.
Tuesday, July 17
One Day Slasher
My cousin and I were driving down the highway when we passed a car dealership. Outside the dealership, the highway was lined with little signs proclaiming 'One Day Slasher!"
I assume that they were having some sort of sale. But, for a split second, I thought that perhaps there was a murderer loose.
Couldn't they have said "One Day Sale" instead of "One Day Slasher" ?? It sounds nicer and doesn't bring to mind crazy slasher-murderers running about slashing thing.
Just a thought.
I assume that they were having some sort of sale. But, for a split second, I thought that perhaps there was a murderer loose.
Couldn't they have said "One Day Sale" instead of "One Day Slasher" ?? It sounds nicer and doesn't bring to mind crazy slasher-murderers running about slashing thing.
Just a thought.
Saturday, July 14
Ramblings in the Night
I need a job. Or a life plan. The end.
My truck likes to pull crap and anger me.
I can't decided on a career. I don't want work to be work. I want to enjoy what I do. Is that too much to ask?
I'm being disillusioned by capitalism.
I like living in large metro areas where I have access to things that interest me. Now, if only I had the money to find the things that interest me...
I wish people would not look at me awkwardly on the roadways. Especially when I do not give them reason for said awkward looks. It makes me angry.
I wish I could be content with the status quo instead of always feeling indifferent or discontent.
I wish I was as smart as people think I am.
I wish my alma mater would quit calling to see if I have a job yet.
A) I just graduated two months ago.
B) It's hard to get a job without experience.
C) You people are rubbing salt in an open wound.
My truck likes to pull crap and anger me.
I can't decided on a career. I don't want work to be work. I want to enjoy what I do. Is that too much to ask?
I'm being disillusioned by capitalism.
I like living in large metro areas where I have access to things that interest me. Now, if only I had the money to find the things that interest me...
I wish people would not look at me awkwardly on the roadways. Especially when I do not give them reason for said awkward looks. It makes me angry.
I wish I could be content with the status quo instead of always feeling indifferent or discontent.
I wish I was as smart as people think I am.
I wish my alma mater would quit calling to see if I have a job yet.
A) I just graduated two months ago.
B) It's hard to get a job without experience.
C) You people are rubbing salt in an open wound.
Saturday, July 7
Wednesday, July 4
Wednesday, June 27
Weirdness!
I did one of those music surveys. You know, where you set your music player on shuffle and see which songs come up for each question. Got some interesting results. These are the exact songs that came up for each question. I did not cheat. And the results are quite interesting. Some are really funny, but some are really weird.
If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:
Song: Losing All Control
Artist: Rooney
The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:
Song: Lot of Leavin' Left to Do
Artist: Dierks Bentley
Your favorite thing to say when drunk is:
Song: We're Young and Beautiful
Artist: Carrie Underwood
Your message to the world:
Song: These Streets
Artist: Paolo Nutini
When you think of your best friend you think:
Song: I'm Movin' On
Artist: Rascal Flatts
Your deepest secret:
Song: Night Train
Artist: Amos Lee
Your innermost desire:
Song: Plane
Artist: Jason Mraz
Your oldest memory makes you think:
Song: Bottom of the Barrel
Artist: Amos Lee
Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:
Song: Boy Named Sue
Artist: Johnny Cash
On your deathbed, you'll whisper:
Song: Song for You
Artist: Michael Buble
Your friends say behind your back:
Song: Hey, Good Lookin'
Artist: Hank Williams
You say behind your friends' back:
Song: Let That Be Enough
Artist: Switchfoot
Your opinion of MySpace:
Song: Cannonball
Artist: Damien Rice
When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:
Song: U Can't Touch This
Artist: M.C. Hammer
If you found yourself lost on a desert island, you'd yell:
Song: My Hero
Artist: Foo Fighters
Right now, your feelings are:
Song: Mad World
Artist: Gary Jules
What's your excuse for reposting this:
Song: One Arm Man
Artist: Rooney
Your life's soundtrack:
Song: Did You Get My Message?
Artist: Jason Mraz
The day you fall in love will be the day that:
Song: Green Eyes
Artist: Coldplay
Your farewell message to the readers of this:
Song: You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Artist: The Righteous Brothers
If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:
Song: Losing All Control
Artist: Rooney
The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:
Song: Lot of Leavin' Left to Do
Artist: Dierks Bentley
Your favorite thing to say when drunk is:
Song: We're Young and Beautiful
Artist: Carrie Underwood
Your message to the world:
Song: These Streets
Artist: Paolo Nutini
When you think of your best friend you think:
Song: I'm Movin' On
Artist: Rascal Flatts
Your deepest secret:
Song: Night Train
Artist: Amos Lee
Your innermost desire:
Song: Plane
Artist: Jason Mraz
Your oldest memory makes you think:
Song: Bottom of the Barrel
Artist: Amos Lee
Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:
Song: Boy Named Sue
Artist: Johnny Cash
On your deathbed, you'll whisper:
Song: Song for You
Artist: Michael Buble
Your friends say behind your back:
Song: Hey, Good Lookin'
Artist: Hank Williams
You say behind your friends' back:
Song: Let That Be Enough
Artist: Switchfoot
Your opinion of MySpace:
Song: Cannonball
Artist: Damien Rice
When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:
Song: U Can't Touch This
Artist: M.C. Hammer
If you found yourself lost on a desert island, you'd yell:
Song: My Hero
Artist: Foo Fighters
Right now, your feelings are:
Song: Mad World
Artist: Gary Jules
What's your excuse for reposting this:
Song: One Arm Man
Artist: Rooney
Your life's soundtrack:
Song: Did You Get My Message?
Artist: Jason Mraz
The day you fall in love will be the day that:
Song: Green Eyes
Artist: Coldplay
Your farewell message to the readers of this:
Song: You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Artist: The Righteous Brothers
Thankful
Twelve people. One house.
Six kids under the age of eighteen.
Three near-death encounters with a three-year-old and one flight of stairs.
One bed-wetting accident.
One floor-used-as-toilet accident.
One mother with a bum leg.
Thank God for my aunt and uncle who stayed home from work today.
Six kids under the age of eighteen.
Three near-death encounters with a three-year-old and one flight of stairs.
One bed-wetting accident.
One floor-used-as-toilet accident.
One mother with a bum leg.
Thank God for my aunt and uncle who stayed home from work today.
Sunday, June 24
Solstice and Other Things
The Solstice causes kids to freak out and act like crazy, brainless spaz-o-matics. It's true.
The Solstice does not cause the kid's caretakers to have more patience than usual to deal with their out of control selves.
* * *
Can anyone tell me what the heck Ben Franklin has to do with plumbing?? I've been wondering and asking around for weeks, but no one has been able to help me.
* * *
This weekend markes the anniversary of my glorious Jason Mraz's birth! Happy Birthday, Jason! Come touring near me so I can see you, dammit!
* * *
I need to find a job. Nay, a job needs to find me. One that pays me well and makes use of the diploma that I now own.
* * *
Does one need sinuses? I mean, really and truly? Because they just seem to get in the way of everything for me. Allergies here, Hay Fever there.... does it ever end?
The Solstice does not cause the kid's caretakers to have more patience than usual to deal with their out of control selves.
* * *
Can anyone tell me what the heck Ben Franklin has to do with plumbing?? I've been wondering and asking around for weeks, but no one has been able to help me.
* * *
This weekend markes the anniversary of my glorious Jason Mraz's birth! Happy Birthday, Jason! Come touring near me so I can see you, dammit!
* * *
I need to find a job. Nay, a job needs to find me. One that pays me well and makes use of the diploma that I now own.
* * *
Does one need sinuses? I mean, really and truly? Because they just seem to get in the way of everything for me. Allergies here, Hay Fever there.... does it ever end?
Tuesday, June 19
Oh, Rooney....
I just don't think I can be your friend any more. And by friend, I mean adoring fan who still owns the three Rooney shirts she bought at three different concerts even though she no longer wears them because they're tattered and torn. The same friend who acquired Robert's guitar pick after a show and obtained the autographs of all five band members.
This friend is unhappy for several reasons. One reason is the fact that your second album has been postponed-delayed-postponed about a million times. But that offense can be forgiven. What cannot be forgiven is this reason:
You're touring with Fergie.
Are you aware of this fact? You're headlining for Fergie, a character who insists upon spelling words throughout her songs and relies on her "humps" to attract male suitors. She's brainwashing America's youth and making them into mindless followers of the Britney Spears-Paris Hilton persuasion.
She just seems so unlike you.
I don't know. Perhaps I don't know you as well as I think I know you. It's just disappointing, that's all. I don't understand it. I'm sure touring with her will get you more popularity. But is popularity necessary? I'm sure it is nice for people to buy your albums and go to your shows so that you have money and can live a life of relative leisure. But what about, oh, I don't know.... integrity? Don't you want to be remembered for who you are, not for riding on the coattails of another to achieve fame?
Anyhow, enjoy your tour. I wish that I could see you this time around as it has been many years since I've seen you perform live (almost four years!). Sadly, the only time you were coming near my area was with Fergie and I can't justify spending any amount of money that goes to her.
So, there you go.
This friend is unhappy for several reasons. One reason is the fact that your second album has been postponed-delayed-postponed about a million times. But that offense can be forgiven. What cannot be forgiven is this reason:
You're touring with Fergie.
Are you aware of this fact? You're headlining for Fergie, a character who insists upon spelling words throughout her songs and relies on her "humps" to attract male suitors. She's brainwashing America's youth and making them into mindless followers of the Britney Spears-Paris Hilton persuasion.
She just seems so unlike you.
I don't know. Perhaps I don't know you as well as I think I know you. It's just disappointing, that's all. I don't understand it. I'm sure touring with her will get you more popularity. But is popularity necessary? I'm sure it is nice for people to buy your albums and go to your shows so that you have money and can live a life of relative leisure. But what about, oh, I don't know.... integrity? Don't you want to be remembered for who you are, not for riding on the coattails of another to achieve fame?
Anyhow, enjoy your tour. I wish that I could see you this time around as it has been many years since I've seen you perform live (almost four years!). Sadly, the only time you were coming near my area was with Fergie and I can't justify spending any amount of money that goes to her.
So, there you go.
Tuesday, June 12
ANTS!
There are ants in the kitchen.
There have been ants in the kitchen for several weeks. The Orkin guy has visited twice, but to no avail. We cannot get rid of these horrible creatures.
Today, I return from an hour long drive with my cousin to find ants everywhere. And not just everywhere, but everywhere. There's a gigantic congregation of them on the floor, on the counter top, and (here's the worst part) INSIDE the Pepsi bottle. I can't take it anymore!!!
And there was still a good amount of Pepsi in the bottle, too. It was, like, brand new.
I am disgusted.
There have been ants in the kitchen for several weeks. The Orkin guy has visited twice, but to no avail. We cannot get rid of these horrible creatures.
Today, I return from an hour long drive with my cousin to find ants everywhere. And not just everywhere, but everywhere. There's a gigantic congregation of them on the floor, on the counter top, and (here's the worst part) INSIDE the Pepsi bottle. I can't take it anymore!!!
And there was still a good amount of Pepsi in the bottle, too. It was, like, brand new.
I am disgusted.
Saturday, June 9
Dear Truck of Mine
Dear Truck,
You are stupid. I hate you. You cost more money than you are worth.
So what if you've been with me for five years? During the last two years, you've been very unfaithful to me. You've messed up several times and have become a drain on my finances.
I take care of you and give you baths frequently. I keep you clean and shiny. When I feed you expensive gasoline, I always fill you to the brim so you can experience the satisfaction of a full tummy. And for what? For you to misbehave and make me angry? You know losing money frustrates me.
You are very frustrating, truck. And your days are numbered.
You are stupid. I hate you. You cost more money than you are worth.
So what if you've been with me for five years? During the last two years, you've been very unfaithful to me. You've messed up several times and have become a drain on my finances.
I take care of you and give you baths frequently. I keep you clean and shiny. When I feed you expensive gasoline, I always fill you to the brim so you can experience the satisfaction of a full tummy. And for what? For you to misbehave and make me angry? You know losing money frustrates me.
You are very frustrating, truck. And your days are numbered.
Thursday, June 7
Day 7 as a Babysitter
As you may already know, I am at war with the Sun. He burned me quite horribly yesterday and I am a pinker, redder, more painful version of my former self.
This morning, I was showing my young charge my terribly red shins. She looked at the burned fronts of my legs and then, looked up at me.
Can you guess what she did next??
She kicked me. She threw her tiny foot into my reddened shins with about as much force as she could muster.
I think she did it on purpose. I'm almost positive.
This morning, I was showing my young charge my terribly red shins. She looked at the burned fronts of my legs and then, looked up at me.
Can you guess what she did next??
She kicked me. She threw her tiny foot into my reddened shins with about as much force as she could muster.
I think she did it on purpose. I'm almost positive.
Wednesday, June 6
Oh, Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun....
Today, I spent three hours in the pool. Three hours is a lot for a pale, translucent person like myself. I also spent a couple of hours in the pool on Monday as well. My skin is uncomfortable. My skin is irritated. It does not like clothes touching it. My skin is not a happy camper.
Looking at my incredibly pink arms and face, I've come to one conclusion.
I've met my sun quota for the week. The Sun is not to shine itself my way until at least Sunday. I am anti-Sun. The Sun and I are not friends. No me gusta el sol. Je n'aime pas le soleil.
In short, the Sun and I are at war. It will be a constant battle, but I should be successful in my goal of keeping clear of the Sun's rays.
Maybe.
Looking at my incredibly pink arms and face, I've come to one conclusion.
I've met my sun quota for the week. The Sun is not to shine itself my way until at least Sunday. I am anti-Sun. The Sun and I are not friends. No me gusta el sol. Je n'aime pas le soleil.
In short, the Sun and I are at war. It will be a constant battle, but I should be successful in my goal of keeping clear of the Sun's rays.
Maybe.
Thursday, May 31
Day 3 as a Babysitter
I've fallen in love with Steve from Blue's Clues.
I don't know if it is because he is one cute kid. Or not kid. Adult-person. Either way, he's quite adorable.
I don't know if it is because he's pretty much the only human I see in a sea of cartoons.
I don't know if it is because his actions and facial expressions on the show have become hilariously funny to me in recent hours.
Perhaps I have lost my mind.
ETA: My uncle believes Steve to be gay. If you are attracted to other male-lings, Steve, please do not tell me. You're my only hope in a crazy mix of SpongeBob, Backyardigans, Oswald, and Miss Spiders.
I don't know if it is because he is one cute kid. Or not kid. Adult-person. Either way, he's quite adorable.
I don't know if it is because he's pretty much the only human I see in a sea of cartoons.
I don't know if it is because his actions and facial expressions on the show have become hilariously funny to me in recent hours.
Perhaps I have lost my mind.
ETA: My uncle believes Steve to be gay. If you are attracted to other male-lings, Steve, please do not tell me. You're my only hope in a crazy mix of SpongeBob, Backyardigans, Oswald, and Miss Spiders.
Friday, May 25
"Well, let me tell YOU something..."
I was playing a Mortal Kombat tetris game against my cousin. Her little sister watched me play for a while in apparent dissatisfaction. After a few minutes, she sighed dramatically and said "Well, let me tell you something, Baby Sitter, you're bad at this game."
Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Princess Obvious.
Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Princess Obvious.
Monday, May 21
There's No Cure for Stupidity
Not even a college degree will help.
Yesterday, after shelling out $3.30 for each gallon of gas I pumped into my little truck, I came home with an alarming idea.
I decided it would be a good idea to clean the stove/oven. I decided it would be wise to take out the racks and spray them down with cleaner and scrub them until I had acquired black grease and grime up to my elbows. Then, I decided to soak the inside of the oven with cleaner and scrub until the black gunk was up to my shoulders. For some reason, I figured if I sprayed stuff into the oven and onto the racks and let them soak for a while, clean up would be easy-peasy.
It wasn't. I don't know what possessed me to do this act of ignorance.
After cleaning for a good thirty to forty-five minutes, the oven was not even remotely spotless. It is cleaner than it was before the cleaning spree, but it is still full of icky gunk that I couldn't remove with any amount of scrubbing and swearing.
Since my hand shook uncontrollably for nearly an hour after the cleaning process, I have decided that instead of cleaning the stove in the future, it is best just to buy a new one every couple of years or so.
I am so dumb.
Yesterday, after shelling out $3.30 for each gallon of gas I pumped into my little truck, I came home with an alarming idea.
I decided it would be a good idea to clean the stove/oven. I decided it would be wise to take out the racks and spray them down with cleaner and scrub them until I had acquired black grease and grime up to my elbows. Then, I decided to soak the inside of the oven with cleaner and scrub until the black gunk was up to my shoulders. For some reason, I figured if I sprayed stuff into the oven and onto the racks and let them soak for a while, clean up would be easy-peasy.
It wasn't. I don't know what possessed me to do this act of ignorance.
After cleaning for a good thirty to forty-five minutes, the oven was not even remotely spotless. It is cleaner than it was before the cleaning spree, but it is still full of icky gunk that I couldn't remove with any amount of scrubbing and swearing.
Since my hand shook uncontrollably for nearly an hour after the cleaning process, I have decided that instead of cleaning the stove in the future, it is best just to buy a new one every couple of years or so.
I am so dumb.
Saturday, May 5
I Really Don't Know About Some People...
I'm watching Man vs. Wild. I don't know why I'm watching it. I just am.
Anyhow. The "man" is wandering through the Kenyan savanna searching for water and people. He's doing this to show us how to get out alive. You know, if we're ever in the Kenyan savanna and find ourselves lost.
He comes along this incredibly poisonous snake, which he tells us that once bitten, a person will die within 24 hours without medical treatment. Then, he picks up a stick and pokes the snake with it, saying, "I'm deliberately provoking the animal..."
Why do they do that? And in they, I mean the nature people that go around the world and intentionally pester animals to show the uneducated public what the animals can and will do. They all do it. They all find the most poisonous, most dangerous animal and poke it and prod it to get a reaction. I'm sorry, but that's stupid. And it is exactly why Steve Irwin died. He was bothering things he didn't need to be bothering and BAM! Nature took him out. Come on, people! Leave nature the f alone!
So, after trying to get bitten by this venomous snake, he's wandering through the savanna in search of water. But he can't find any that is clean enough to not kill him. He finds a stagnant pool of water with a dead turtle. He decides that he probably shouldn't drink that water (smart move, oh stupid one!). But he's so thirsty. He can't go on any longer.
To satisfy his thirst, he picks up some elephant poo and squeezes the juice out of it and into his mouth.
I nearly threw up my ENTIRE stomach. It was disgusting.
I don't understand why he did it. He's wandering around the savanna with a freakin' camera crew! It's not like he's alone. And it's a real crew. It's not just some guy with a steady cam. I am more than sure that the camera guy has a bottle of Evian to satifsy the guy's thirst. And after he drinks elephant poo juice, he comments that he probably just swallowed a lot of nasty bacteria. No shit, Sherlock.
During the night time, he's walking towards his intended destination of the mountains. He spots a lone elephant. And he tells the camera that he can't let the elephant see him or smell him. Why? He doesn't want the elephant to charge him because it is nighttime.
Call me crazy, but I think that an elephant charging a person at ANY time is not good. At night, you'll probably see less of yourself getting trampled to bits. And he'd totally trample you, dude. You were drinking his poo juice.
I can't get over that. I'm disturbed by this man's actions. As the sun rises, he sees the mountain is closer (because he's walked all night). He estimates that it is 10 miles away. "It's not that far!!"
This kid is delusional.
And now he's tearing into a dead zebra. He's actually biting pieces of meat OFF the zebra. Dude is eating raw zebra and spits a piece out because it's a "nasty bit." Because the kill is fresh and he doesn't want to end up dead beside the poor zebra, he cuts off a slab of zebra and shoves it into his pocket.
This man needs to be stopped.
He's taking precautions against mosquitos and malaria by burning a plant called Blackjack on the fire. I'm pretty sure that this guy has been vaccinated against malaria. Or if not, his camera crew will swoop in and get him to medical safety.
Elephant Poo Boy is now making a fire out of dried elephant dung. Man's got a problem. He's obsessed with elephant feces. And now he's going on about the fact that the fumes of elephant dung do not smell "nice." Really? I'd have imagined the smell of roses and wildflowers.
He finally finds a cabin in the mountain area and goes bebopping in to these people's house unannounced and uninvited. And you were worried about elephants charging you in the night? He's lost his marbles. His cheese has slid off his cracker and some marsupial in the savanna is feeding off it.
You know, I could see if you were really and truly lost in the Kenyan savanna, you might be desperate enough to eat raw zebra and drink from the juice of elephant poo. But this guy isn't really stranded! That's what's so disturbing. He's trying to show the audience how to survive in the savanna.
But I have a better idea. Don't get lost in the savanna. The end. It's not rocket science.
Anyhow. The "man" is wandering through the Kenyan savanna searching for water and people. He's doing this to show us how to get out alive. You know, if we're ever in the Kenyan savanna and find ourselves lost.
He comes along this incredibly poisonous snake, which he tells us that once bitten, a person will die within 24 hours without medical treatment. Then, he picks up a stick and pokes the snake with it, saying, "I'm deliberately provoking the animal..."
Why do they do that? And in they, I mean the nature people that go around the world and intentionally pester animals to show the uneducated public what the animals can and will do. They all do it. They all find the most poisonous, most dangerous animal and poke it and prod it to get a reaction. I'm sorry, but that's stupid. And it is exactly why Steve Irwin died. He was bothering things he didn't need to be bothering and BAM! Nature took him out. Come on, people! Leave nature the f alone!
So, after trying to get bitten by this venomous snake, he's wandering through the savanna in search of water. But he can't find any that is clean enough to not kill him. He finds a stagnant pool of water with a dead turtle. He decides that he probably shouldn't drink that water (smart move, oh stupid one!). But he's so thirsty. He can't go on any longer.
To satisfy his thirst, he picks up some elephant poo and squeezes the juice out of it and into his mouth.
I nearly threw up my ENTIRE stomach. It was disgusting.
I don't understand why he did it. He's wandering around the savanna with a freakin' camera crew! It's not like he's alone. And it's a real crew. It's not just some guy with a steady cam. I am more than sure that the camera guy has a bottle of Evian to satifsy the guy's thirst. And after he drinks elephant poo juice, he comments that he probably just swallowed a lot of nasty bacteria. No shit, Sherlock.
During the night time, he's walking towards his intended destination of the mountains. He spots a lone elephant. And he tells the camera that he can't let the elephant see him or smell him. Why? He doesn't want the elephant to charge him because it is nighttime.
Call me crazy, but I think that an elephant charging a person at ANY time is not good. At night, you'll probably see less of yourself getting trampled to bits. And he'd totally trample you, dude. You were drinking his poo juice.
I can't get over that. I'm disturbed by this man's actions. As the sun rises, he sees the mountain is closer (because he's walked all night). He estimates that it is 10 miles away. "It's not that far!!"
This kid is delusional.
And now he's tearing into a dead zebra. He's actually biting pieces of meat OFF the zebra. Dude is eating raw zebra and spits a piece out because it's a "nasty bit." Because the kill is fresh and he doesn't want to end up dead beside the poor zebra, he cuts off a slab of zebra and shoves it into his pocket.
This man needs to be stopped.
He's taking precautions against mosquitos and malaria by burning a plant called Blackjack on the fire. I'm pretty sure that this guy has been vaccinated against malaria. Or if not, his camera crew will swoop in and get him to medical safety.
Elephant Poo Boy is now making a fire out of dried elephant dung. Man's got a problem. He's obsessed with elephant feces. And now he's going on about the fact that the fumes of elephant dung do not smell "nice." Really? I'd have imagined the smell of roses and wildflowers.
He finally finds a cabin in the mountain area and goes bebopping in to these people's house unannounced and uninvited. And you were worried about elephants charging you in the night? He's lost his marbles. His cheese has slid off his cracker and some marsupial in the savanna is feeding off it.
You know, I could see if you were really and truly lost in the Kenyan savanna, you might be desperate enough to eat raw zebra and drink from the juice of elephant poo. But this guy isn't really stranded! That's what's so disturbing. He's trying to show the audience how to survive in the savanna.
But I have a better idea. Don't get lost in the savanna. The end. It's not rocket science.
Thursday, May 3
The End is Near
I completed my last class today as a college student. Once I finish the paper for that class (within the next 20 hours) and take four finals next week, I'll be a full-fledged graduate.
Kind of scary, isn't it?
Kind of scary, isn't it?
Sunday, April 29
Meet Schuba!
I am no longer the owner of a wonky laptop.
Well, Kip is technically still mine until I give him to my sister. So, I suppose I'm the owner of a wonky laptop and a completely unwonky laptop.
My dear parents were generous enough to bestow upon me a new laptop as a graduation present on account of the fact that I'm graduating in two weeks.
In two weeks, I'll have a Bachelor's degree in English. I'm not exactly sure of what I'm going to do with that degree.
But I have a pretty new laptop to help me figure things out.
Well, Kip is technically still mine until I give him to my sister. So, I suppose I'm the owner of a wonky laptop and a completely unwonky laptop.
My dear parents were generous enough to bestow upon me a new laptop as a graduation present on account of the fact that I'm graduating in two weeks.
In two weeks, I'll have a Bachelor's degree in English. I'm not exactly sure of what I'm going to do with that degree.
But I have a pretty new laptop to help me figure things out.
Wednesday, April 25
Okay. I Confess. . .
There's something I must confess. I've been keeping it a secret from much of the world for quite a long time. Frankly, I just can't do it anymore. It's too much work and I'm very tired.
Although, I hesitate to share this confession because I'm sure there will be those that make fun of me. However, I care not. Let them poke fun at me. I'm in love and I can no longer deny it.
I love. . .
The Prince & Me. I abso-freakin-lutely adore it. If it is on television, I have to watch it. If I play my DVD of it once, I have to play it again. I can watch it for a week straight or longer. It's insane how much I love this movie.
I don't understand my fascination with the movie. Is it the Danish prince business? Is it the cute prince played by Luke Mably? Is it the funny lines that are splashed throughout the movie ("Oh, you mean, Prince Ate-My-Triscuits and didn't replace 'em?")? Is it the fabulous Julia Stiles?
I just don't know. I have no clue and it drives me crazy when I try to understand my crazy love for this movie.
Now, they recently made a sequel to The Prince & Me. But it's not as good. One, it doesn't have Julia Stiles. Two, it doesn't have half of the original actors reprising their roles. Three, it doesn't have Julia's fantastic hairstyle, a style that I continuously come back to time and again as a hairstyle for me.
Of course, once I get my haircut like Julia's in the movie, I rarely fix it like it should be fixed. But, really, in my defense, I don't know how they fixed it for the movie. So, how am I possibly to recreate a style when I don't know how it was created in the first place? It's just cute!
So, there. I've said it. I'm in love with a chick flick of a movie. It's probably one of my most watched DVDs. It's only second to The Departed.
Perhaps I shouldn't watch so much television.
Although, I hesitate to share this confession because I'm sure there will be those that make fun of me. However, I care not. Let them poke fun at me. I'm in love and I can no longer deny it.
I love. . .
The Prince & Me. I abso-freakin-lutely adore it. If it is on television, I have to watch it. If I play my DVD of it once, I have to play it again. I can watch it for a week straight or longer. It's insane how much I love this movie.
I don't understand my fascination with the movie. Is it the Danish prince business? Is it the cute prince played by Luke Mably? Is it the funny lines that are splashed throughout the movie ("Oh, you mean, Prince Ate-My-Triscuits and didn't replace 'em?")? Is it the fabulous Julia Stiles?
I just don't know. I have no clue and it drives me crazy when I try to understand my crazy love for this movie.
Now, they recently made a sequel to The Prince & Me. But it's not as good. One, it doesn't have Julia Stiles. Two, it doesn't have half of the original actors reprising their roles. Three, it doesn't have Julia's fantastic hairstyle, a style that I continuously come back to time and again as a hairstyle for me.
Of course, once I get my haircut like Julia's in the movie, I rarely fix it like it should be fixed. But, really, in my defense, I don't know how they fixed it for the movie. So, how am I possibly to recreate a style when I don't know how it was created in the first place? It's just cute!
So, there. I've said it. I'm in love with a chick flick of a movie. It's probably one of my most watched DVDs. It's only second to The Departed.
Perhaps I shouldn't watch so much television.
Tuesday, April 24
Things I Have Learned Recently
Bigfoot lives in Oklahoma.
Sleep does not come when you want it.
Yeats is/was a perverse individual.
Creepy kids can write funny stuff.
Sleeping while driving does not mix.
It's hard to work on a laptop with a dim screen.
Cell phones are a hassle and a half.
Even if you wear a new pair of shoes 3 days the first week we get them, they can and will make your ankles bleed when you wear them a second week.
Ankle injuries are quite painful.
Alec Baldwin's daughter is a dirty pig.
Sleep does not come when you want it.
Yeats is/was a perverse individual.
Creepy kids can write funny stuff.
Sleeping while driving does not mix.
It's hard to work on a laptop with a dim screen.
Cell phones are a hassle and a half.
Even if you wear a new pair of shoes 3 days the first week we get them, they can and will make your ankles bleed when you wear them a second week.
Ankle injuries are quite painful.
Alec Baldwin's daughter is a dirty pig.
Tuesday, April 10
Dear Frank
You are a damn liar.
You specifically told me that if I sprayed this stuff on my pretty new shoes, the spray would adhere to my shoes and repel water. I even watched a demonstration where you sprayed your tie and dripped water on to it. And the water just rolled right off like magic!
Well, it doesn't work like that. Today, it is raining. I am wearing my new shoes with their meshness because all the sneakers have the meshness these days (don't ask me why!). I sprayed the miracle spray on the meshness of my shoes. And I didn't just spray a little. I sprayed these bad boys like CRAZY. You can ask Nat.
Anyhow, what happens as I'm walking to Brit Lit? A big, fat raindrop of monstrous proportions fell from the sky and plopped onto the meshness of my sneaker! And can you tell me what happened next, Frank? Can you?
That stupid raindrop permeated my sneaker and soaked my sock! Soggy socks is one of the most hideous things in all the world! I despise soggy socks. Soggy socks should be outlawed.
But I thought I'd be safe from soggy socks. However, I was thoroughly mistaken because YOU, Frank, are gigantic liar. I should have known better than to buy anything from you. You told me you were a fan of noodling, for crying out loud! Noodling is not a sport! It's nonsense. You are nonsense. I despise you and your noodling nonsense.
I hope something comes along and ruins your tie.
You specifically told me that if I sprayed this stuff on my pretty new shoes, the spray would adhere to my shoes and repel water. I even watched a demonstration where you sprayed your tie and dripped water on to it. And the water just rolled right off like magic!
Well, it doesn't work like that. Today, it is raining. I am wearing my new shoes with their meshness because all the sneakers have the meshness these days (don't ask me why!). I sprayed the miracle spray on the meshness of my shoes. And I didn't just spray a little. I sprayed these bad boys like CRAZY. You can ask Nat.
Anyhow, what happens as I'm walking to Brit Lit? A big, fat raindrop of monstrous proportions fell from the sky and plopped onto the meshness of my sneaker! And can you tell me what happened next, Frank? Can you?
That stupid raindrop permeated my sneaker and soaked my sock! Soggy socks is one of the most hideous things in all the world! I despise soggy socks. Soggy socks should be outlawed.
But I thought I'd be safe from soggy socks. However, I was thoroughly mistaken because YOU, Frank, are gigantic liar. I should have known better than to buy anything from you. You told me you were a fan of noodling, for crying out loud! Noodling is not a sport! It's nonsense. You are nonsense. I despise you and your noodling nonsense.
I hope something comes along and ruins your tie.
Sunday, April 8
Things I Dislike
1. My laptop, Kip. He is sharp shooting pain in my aorta. And sharp shooting pains in your aorta are not good. I'm currently typing this with a very dim screen. So dim that it hurts my eyes AND my aorta.
2. Kids that throw trash in the bed of my truck. I don't throw trash in your vehicle, now, do I? And if I find out who keeps using my truck as a trash receptacle, I'm going to set a trap to catch the perp.
3. Food that contaminates living beings. What the crap is up with the food contamination? First, my favorite peanut butter is targeted. And now my dog?! What did my dog ever do to deserve poisoning? A big fat nothing. Food is not supposed to kill you. Predators can kill their prey, though. Are we being killed off by some big bad predator? Hmmm... makes one think....
4. Gas prices. Next week, I'll have to sell my liver on the black market to fill up my gas tank.
5. School papers. I am so freakin' tired of writing papers. And since my laptop is being dumb, I have to write with a very dim screen, borrow a suitemate's laptop (which I hate doing), or spend hours on end in the library. Do you know what lurks in the library? Germs! Monster germs of death that try to kill me with the flu and all kinds of nasty diseases.
6. All University of Florida sports teams. If they win another thing, I will puke on my new shoes. They're a freakin' monopoly! Give someone else a chance, for crying out loud! You don't have to win everything to be considered great. It just overinflates your ego to the point of obnoxiousness.
7. Daylight Savings Time. It's dumb. I wish the days were all the same length all year long. I also find it rude to give someone an extra hour of sleep in the fall only to take away that hour in the spring. That's just bad manners.
8. Parents that don't take care of their children. You bring them into the world and you should take care of them. If you don't want to take care of them, then sign over your rights. You're just dead weight, pulling down your kid. And how rude is it to bring a child into the world anda not take care of the child? Like the kid can go out on Day 3 of Life and interview for a job.
9. Dumb people. People who behave without thinking or who behave selfishly irritate me. Think of your fellow man for once! You've got to share the world with other people, you know. Contrary to whatever your mommy told you, you are not the center of the universe.
10. Right now, I don't have a number 10. However, if you know me, you also know that given a short amount of time, I will find something else to dislike.
2. Kids that throw trash in the bed of my truck. I don't throw trash in your vehicle, now, do I? And if I find out who keeps using my truck as a trash receptacle, I'm going to set a trap to catch the perp.
3. Food that contaminates living beings. What the crap is up with the food contamination? First, my favorite peanut butter is targeted. And now my dog?! What did my dog ever do to deserve poisoning? A big fat nothing. Food is not supposed to kill you. Predators can kill their prey, though. Are we being killed off by some big bad predator? Hmmm... makes one think....
4. Gas prices. Next week, I'll have to sell my liver on the black market to fill up my gas tank.
5. School papers. I am so freakin' tired of writing papers. And since my laptop is being dumb, I have to write with a very dim screen, borrow a suitemate's laptop (which I hate doing), or spend hours on end in the library. Do you know what lurks in the library? Germs! Monster germs of death that try to kill me with the flu and all kinds of nasty diseases.
6. All University of Florida sports teams. If they win another thing, I will puke on my new shoes. They're a freakin' monopoly! Give someone else a chance, for crying out loud! You don't have to win everything to be considered great. It just overinflates your ego to the point of obnoxiousness.
7. Daylight Savings Time. It's dumb. I wish the days were all the same length all year long. I also find it rude to give someone an extra hour of sleep in the fall only to take away that hour in the spring. That's just bad manners.
8. Parents that don't take care of their children. You bring them into the world and you should take care of them. If you don't want to take care of them, then sign over your rights. You're just dead weight, pulling down your kid. And how rude is it to bring a child into the world anda not take care of the child? Like the kid can go out on Day 3 of Life and interview for a job.
9. Dumb people. People who behave without thinking or who behave selfishly irritate me. Think of your fellow man for once! You've got to share the world with other people, you know. Contrary to whatever your mommy told you, you are not the center of the universe.
10. Right now, I don't have a number 10. However, if you know me, you also know that given a short amount of time, I will find something else to dislike.
Tuesday, April 3
Further Proof....
So, I'm listening to this demo song I found of Alex Band's. And it is just further proof that he is all kinds of awesome and I will forever be a fan.
"Take Hold of Me"
Never been more alone
I'm sinking like a stone
Seems everything I knew
No longer gets me through this madness
I can't take it now
Everything I planned
Has crumbled into sand and
Slipped into the sea
Won't someone please save me from this pain
Cause I'm going insane
CHORUS:
So take hold of me
Just take hold of me
Yeah take hold of me
And never let me go
Don't let me go
The people I leaned on
One blink and they are gone
And so I turn to You
To pull my lost soul out of this flood
I'm dying for love
CHORUS
Can you see me?
Find me
Free me
Just take hold of me
Yeah take hold of me
Oh well take hold of me
I've got nowhere left to go
CHORUS
I'll be all right
I'll be all right
I'll be all right
Yeah
I'll be all right
"Take Hold of Me"
Never been more alone
I'm sinking like a stone
Seems everything I knew
No longer gets me through this madness
I can't take it now
Everything I planned
Has crumbled into sand and
Slipped into the sea
Won't someone please save me from this pain
Cause I'm going insane
CHORUS:
So take hold of me
Just take hold of me
Yeah take hold of me
And never let me go
Don't let me go
The people I leaned on
One blink and they are gone
And so I turn to You
To pull my lost soul out of this flood
I'm dying for love
CHORUS
Can you see me?
Find me
Free me
Just take hold of me
Yeah take hold of me
Oh well take hold of me
I've got nowhere left to go
CHORUS
I'll be all right
I'll be all right
I'll be all right
Yeah
I'll be all right
Wednesday, March 28
Hum.
I dislike wallpaper, border, and any other type of paper on the walls. It doesn't come off when you want it to and it's a huge hassle to put up. Note to homeowners: stay away from the wallpaper and borders!
I also dislike texturized walls and popcorn ceilings. Do you know how awesome it is to scrape your hand against the wall and have your hand swell up and start bleeding? It's not that awesome. It sucks. I probably have some weird wall disease in my hand.
However, I do love Boston.
That is all.
I also dislike texturized walls and popcorn ceilings. Do you know how awesome it is to scrape your hand against the wall and have your hand swell up and start bleeding? It's not that awesome. It sucks. I probably have some weird wall disease in my hand.
However, I do love Boston.
That is all.
Thursday, March 15
Dear Sir or Madam
I regret to inform you that I am in possession of a wonky laptop. This laptop has a severe and unusual problem that seems irreparable. This problem that I speak of is a cause of increasing confusion. You see, the screen enjoys growing dim at the most inconvenient times. To remedy this problem, the laptop was fitted with a new FL inverter, which should have taken care of the issue. However, the laptop remains wonky. It is possible that the new FL inverter is faulty. It is also possible that the LCD screen is going out. Time (and a replacement FL inverter) will tell.
Sincerely yours,
Disgruntled and Impatient Owner of a Wonky Laptop
Sincerely yours,
Disgruntled and Impatient Owner of a Wonky Laptop
Wednesday, March 7
Wondering...
How can a restaurant named Kentucky Fried Chicken serve fish? Does anyone else have a problem with this??
They're Kentucky Fried Chicken, for crying out loud! Not Kentucky Fried Fish!
That is some messed up business. I bet the Colonel is rolling over in his grave.
They're Kentucky Fried Chicken, for crying out loud! Not Kentucky Fried Fish!
That is some messed up business. I bet the Colonel is rolling over in his grave.
Tuesday, February 27
Ridiculousness of Unexplainable Varieties
In Sunday's paper, I found a wonderful coupon ($4.00) for Claritin-D. Since that seems to be the only thing that helps my allergies anymore, I clipped that sucker out and pocketed it for my next Walmart trip.
Fast forward to today and anticipated Walmart trip. I decide to spring for the more expensive 20 pack of Claritin-D since I have a wonderful coupon. I wait fairly patiently in line until my turn. Then, I step up to the counter, hand over my coupon, driver's license, and card detailing what medicine I want and wait some more. The lady pulls the Claritin-D off some shelf of medications they try to keep out of the hands of crazy meth addicts and begins to ring it up. She looks at my driver's license and realizes that it is out of state.
Earlier in the semester, they just typed in my driver's license number and I was able to get whatever medicine I needed. But not today.
Today, I am informed that because my driver's license doesn't have the compatible or proper bar code, I can't have the Claritin-D. They can't type in my information anymore. I am just screwed. I have to remain miserable and attempt to use inferior medications that lack proper ingredients.
So, basically, I'm being penalized for going to an out-of-state school. Isn't that ridiculous?
And speaking of school, I learned today that the graduate school I applied to had 185 applicants last year. Out of this amount, only 52 got in! That's 28%! There's no way I'm getting into that school, especially when I've spent my undergraduate years at a university that no one has ever heard of. And by some crazy chance I do get in, it will be an act of God. Then, I'll be obligated to go to Boston and attend school whether I really want to or not because obviously, God wants me there (hello! Act of God!). If I get in and decide not to go, I would basically be spitting in God's eye. And because God doesn't take too kindly to people spitting in His eye, He will smite me at His earliest convenience.
Oy vey.
Fast forward to today and anticipated Walmart trip. I decide to spring for the more expensive 20 pack of Claritin-D since I have a wonderful coupon. I wait fairly patiently in line until my turn. Then, I step up to the counter, hand over my coupon, driver's license, and card detailing what medicine I want and wait some more. The lady pulls the Claritin-D off some shelf of medications they try to keep out of the hands of crazy meth addicts and begins to ring it up. She looks at my driver's license and realizes that it is out of state.
Earlier in the semester, they just typed in my driver's license number and I was able to get whatever medicine I needed. But not today.
Today, I am informed that because my driver's license doesn't have the compatible or proper bar code, I can't have the Claritin-D. They can't type in my information anymore. I am just screwed. I have to remain miserable and attempt to use inferior medications that lack proper ingredients.
So, basically, I'm being penalized for going to an out-of-state school. Isn't that ridiculous?
And speaking of school, I learned today that the graduate school I applied to had 185 applicants last year. Out of this amount, only 52 got in! That's 28%! There's no way I'm getting into that school, especially when I've spent my undergraduate years at a university that no one has ever heard of. And by some crazy chance I do get in, it will be an act of God. Then, I'll be obligated to go to Boston and attend school whether I really want to or not because obviously, God wants me there (hello! Act of God!). If I get in and decide not to go, I would basically be spitting in God's eye. And because God doesn't take too kindly to people spitting in His eye, He will smite me at His earliest convenience.
Oy vey.
Thursday, February 8
Three Reasons Why I Hate the Housing Department
The Housing Department at my school are officially on my list. Right under JJ Abrams and Tom Cruise. Do you want to know why?
Of course you do.
Exhibit A - Malfunctioning fire alarm. Since returning to school for my final semester as an undergraduate, the fire alarm in my building has been malfunctioning. It likes to malfunction in the middle of the night, for some reason. The fire alarm has started to go off more and more frequently. People have come and looked at it and declared it fixed. And then, the fire alarm wakes us all up yet again.
Last night or early this morning, the fire alarm begins to wail its horrid sound. We stumble out into the lobby where the RAs tell us to go back to bed. We head back to our rooms. Once in our rooms, the fire alarm continues to blare for five minutes. Then, it stops abruptly. One second later, it is back on. It wails for about a minute and stops. And promptly starts back up again. It was on for at least ten minutes. This is ridiculous.
Exhibit B - "Save the resident. Save the world." The dumb housing department has decided that this awful line from Heroes will be the new slogan for the RA recruitment this spring. To emphasize their point, they have plastered the slogan everywhere. Sidewalks, message boards, bulletin boards, trees... it's ridiculous for two reasons. One, I hate the show and the very sight of the slogan makes me ill. Two, the slogan is retarded. "Save the resident. Save the world." What the crap does that mean? Let me tell you something, housing department. The RAs will have to save a whole dorm full of residents if the fire alarm doesn't get fixed. People have stopped evacuating the building when the fire alarm goes off. I know you've threatened us with a $250 fine if we don't exit the building, but people do not care. I suggest you spend your money more wisely by fixing the stupid fire alarm. Otherwise, you'll have so many residents to save and not enough people to do the saving.
Exhibit C - Battle of the Halls is coming up. I once participated in this somewhat fun event. However, to advertise for this year's event, the housing department is putting up flyers that say:
Of course you do.
Exhibit A - Malfunctioning fire alarm. Since returning to school for my final semester as an undergraduate, the fire alarm in my building has been malfunctioning. It likes to malfunction in the middle of the night, for some reason. The fire alarm has started to go off more and more frequently. People have come and looked at it and declared it fixed. And then, the fire alarm wakes us all up yet again.
Last night or early this morning, the fire alarm begins to wail its horrid sound. We stumble out into the lobby where the RAs tell us to go back to bed. We head back to our rooms. Once in our rooms, the fire alarm continues to blare for five minutes. Then, it stops abruptly. One second later, it is back on. It wails for about a minute and stops. And promptly starts back up again. It was on for at least ten minutes. This is ridiculous.
Exhibit B - "Save the resident. Save the world." The dumb housing department has decided that this awful line from Heroes will be the new slogan for the RA recruitment this spring. To emphasize their point, they have plastered the slogan everywhere. Sidewalks, message boards, bulletin boards, trees... it's ridiculous for two reasons. One, I hate the show and the very sight of the slogan makes me ill. Two, the slogan is retarded. "Save the resident. Save the world." What the crap does that mean? Let me tell you something, housing department. The RAs will have to save a whole dorm full of residents if the fire alarm doesn't get fixed. People have stopped evacuating the building when the fire alarm goes off. I know you've threatened us with a $250 fine if we don't exit the building, but people do not care. I suggest you spend your money more wisely by fixing the stupid fire alarm. Otherwise, you'll have so many residents to save and not enough people to do the saving.
Exhibit C - Battle of the Halls is coming up. I once participated in this somewhat fun event. However, to advertise for this year's event, the housing department is putting up flyers that say:
Someone may die. Ask your RA about B.O.T.H.
I suppose that's demeaning to the monkeys.
Someone may die? Who came up with this idea? It's horrible. Let's freak people out by announcing in ominous text that someone may die. Are there monkeys running the housing department at this university?
I suppose that's demeaning to the monkeys.
Thursday, February 1
I Just Threw Up A Little In My Mouth
The Grammys are coming up. They've gotten progressively worse over the years, praising the worst music ever. They're just another subset of some silly MTV awards show. It's pathetic, really.
Something that is way beyond pathetic is the fact that "My Humps" was nominated for Best Pop Performance --Duo or Group. Do you remember this song? The annoying song by the Black Eyed Peas that proclaimed "My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps?"
This is just horrible. It is beyond the beyonds.
Something that is way beyond pathetic is the fact that "My Humps" was nominated for Best Pop Performance --Duo or Group. Do you remember this song? The annoying song by the Black Eyed Peas that proclaimed "My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps?"
This is just horrible. It is beyond the beyonds.
Wednesday, January 31
Snow!
They've canceled classes for tomorrow! Here's why:
This is the first time in all my years at college that they've canceled classes. This is freakin' awesome!
This is the first time in all my years at college that they've canceled classes. This is freakin' awesome!
Tuesday, January 30
Seven Weeks
In seven weeks, I'm going to Boston! I can't believe it's almost time to pack my bags, board the plane, and fly far, far away! It's all so terribly exciting.
However, before the fun can begin, I have loads of stuff to finish. How's about a list?
Jan 31 - presentation over Cisneros, Fiction Writing
Feb 6 - presentation over structuralism, Literary Theory
Feb 12 - first draft due, Fiction Writing (at least 15 pages)
Feb 22 - casebook due, Literary Theory
Feb 19-23 - test 1, Systems of Grammar
Mar 2 - paper due, Brit Lit
Mar 6 - midterm, British Literature
Mar 9 - paper due, Sociolinguistics
This does not take into account all the reading and everyday class stuff. I don't know if I'll make it. I may end up in jail if someone doesn't fix the darn malfunctioning fire alarm. I mean, seriously. Does it take a rocket scientist to fix a fire alarm? It has gone off at least one night each week since school began. It likes to go off around 4:30 in the morning, usually. Such a dear, that old fire alarm.
However, before the fun can begin, I have loads of stuff to finish. How's about a list?
Jan 31 - presentation over Cisneros, Fiction Writing
Feb 6 - presentation over structuralism, Literary Theory
Feb 12 - first draft due, Fiction Writing (at least 15 pages)
Feb 22 - casebook due, Literary Theory
Feb 19-23 - test 1, Systems of Grammar
Mar 2 - paper due, Brit Lit
Mar 6 - midterm, British Literature
Mar 9 - paper due, Sociolinguistics
This does not take into account all the reading and everyday class stuff. I don't know if I'll make it. I may end up in jail if someone doesn't fix the darn malfunctioning fire alarm. I mean, seriously. Does it take a rocket scientist to fix a fire alarm? It has gone off at least one night each week since school began. It likes to go off around 4:30 in the morning, usually. Such a dear, that old fire alarm.
Thursday, January 25
Awaiting Salvation
I've waited all my life for this.
I'm standing on the edge.
It's time for me to fly away
But there's just so much to fear.
Taking one lone flight out
With the world closing in.
Seeming like I'm all alone
Without a familiar face or friend.
It scares me when I think
I've been sent out just to fail.
I reach out blindly with my hands.
Someone save me from myself.
-tkra, 2002
I'm standing on the edge.
It's time for me to fly away
But there's just so much to fear.
Taking one lone flight out
With the world closing in.
Seeming like I'm all alone
Without a familiar face or friend.
It scares me when I think
I've been sent out just to fail.
I reach out blindly with my hands.
Someone save me from myself.
-tkra, 2002
Still Fighting It
I hate waiting.
I'm waiting for a few things to happen right now. Waiting to graduate. Waiting for my trip to Boston. Waiting for this cold to go away. Waiting to see if Emerson will have me. Waiting to be on my own. Waiting to get on with my life. Waiting for all kinds of other stuff to happen. I'm just waiting.
Waiting, waiting, waiting. In a perpetual state of limbo, unsure of the future.
Unsteady. Melancholy. Bored. Tired.
Is this all life is? A gigantic waiting game? It's like we're continually stuck in a large hospital waiting room, just waiting for our number to come up.
Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does.
It's weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what,
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
You'll try and try and one day you'll fly
Away from me
-Ben Folds
I can't wait to fly away from all this monotonous waiting.
I'm waiting for a few things to happen right now. Waiting to graduate. Waiting for my trip to Boston. Waiting for this cold to go away. Waiting to see if Emerson will have me. Waiting to be on my own. Waiting to get on with my life. Waiting for all kinds of other stuff to happen. I'm just waiting.
Waiting, waiting, waiting. In a perpetual state of limbo, unsure of the future.
Unsteady. Melancholy. Bored. Tired.
Is this all life is? A gigantic waiting game? It's like we're continually stuck in a large hospital waiting room, just waiting for our number to come up.
Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does.
It's weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what,
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
You'll try and try and one day you'll fly
Away from me
-Ben Folds
I can't wait to fly away from all this monotonous waiting.
Sunday, January 21
Boston
In the light of the sun,
Is there anyone?
Oh it has begun.
Oh dear, you look so lost,
eyes are red
and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed.
You said,
You don't know me,
And you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said,
You don't know me,
And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah
Essential yet appealed,
Carry all your thoughts
Across an open field,
When flowers gaze at you,
They're not the only ones
Who cry when they see you
You said,
You don't know me,
And you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said,
You don't know me,
And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah.
She said I think I'll go to Boston.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain.
I think I'll go to Boston.
I think that I'm just tired.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of Sunset,
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah.
You don't know me,
And you don't even care, oh yeah,
Boston, where no one knows my name
where no one knows my name
where no one knows my name
Boston, where no one knows my name.
-Augustana
Tuesday, January 16
Adventures Thus Far
In my three days of being at school, the following adventures have occurred:
1. Near drowning on the drive and moving in process. See previous post.
2. Near frostbite from walking around campus and town -- it's freakin' freezing, people! Any body part that is not wrapped in clothing (like one's face) quickly becomes cold and red within two seconds of stepping outdoors.
3. Heater in my suite stopped working. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why every major appliance I'm around keeps breaking. It was maybe 20 degrees outside. Thank God for best friends and down comforters!
4. Fire alarm and subsequent evacuation at 2:42 in the morning. Some idiot pulled the fire alarm this morning. I don't know if it was by accident or done as a joke, but it wasn't funny either way. I pull myself out of bed and into the foyer of my suite, where I realize that my baby freshman in the room next to me are not emerging from their room! So, I knock and open the door. Two little faces are staring at me in the dark: "What's going on??" "Can we go back to sleep?" No, you may not go back to sleep. Put your shoes on and grab your coat. We've got to go outside.
Thankfully, they didn't make us go outside. Did I mention it was 20 degrees outside?
5. Switched from one section of a class to another section. My department head comes into my British Literature class this morning, demanding that some of us take the afternoon class. I didn't want to take the afternoon class because I had my classes scheduled together (8-9:20, then 9:30-10:50). I also knew that the other section is set to read Mrs. Dalloway, a book I have no desire to read. I actually tried to read it once two or three years ago. It was not cool. Then, Mr. Department Head announced that if no one would leave voluntarily, he'd look at our schedules and move us all around willy-nilly.
Well, I couldn't have that. So, now I'm taking British Literature from 2:30-3:50. At least I don't have to be up at the crack of dawn in frigid temperatures anymore.
So far, five adventures in under 3 days. That's got to be a record or something.
1. Near drowning on the drive and moving in process. See previous post.
2. Near frostbite from walking around campus and town -- it's freakin' freezing, people! Any body part that is not wrapped in clothing (like one's face) quickly becomes cold and red within two seconds of stepping outdoors.
3. Heater in my suite stopped working. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why every major appliance I'm around keeps breaking. It was maybe 20 degrees outside. Thank God for best friends and down comforters!
4. Fire alarm and subsequent evacuation at 2:42 in the morning. Some idiot pulled the fire alarm this morning. I don't know if it was by accident or done as a joke, but it wasn't funny either way. I pull myself out of bed and into the foyer of my suite, where I realize that my baby freshman in the room next to me are not emerging from their room! So, I knock and open the door. Two little faces are staring at me in the dark: "What's going on??" "Can we go back to sleep?" No, you may not go back to sleep. Put your shoes on and grab your coat. We've got to go outside.
Thankfully, they didn't make us go outside. Did I mention it was 20 degrees outside?
5. Switched from one section of a class to another section. My department head comes into my British Literature class this morning, demanding that some of us take the afternoon class. I didn't want to take the afternoon class because I had my classes scheduled together (8-9:20, then 9:30-10:50). I also knew that the other section is set to read Mrs. Dalloway, a book I have no desire to read. I actually tried to read it once two or three years ago. It was not cool. Then, Mr. Department Head announced that if no one would leave voluntarily, he'd look at our schedules and move us all around willy-nilly.
Well, I couldn't have that. So, now I'm taking British Literature from 2:30-3:50. At least I don't have to be up at the crack of dawn in frigid temperatures anymore.
So far, five adventures in under 3 days. That's got to be a record or something.
Monday, January 15
Water Water Everywhere
It has rained for three days straight. Not piddly, slower-than-molasses rain. We're talking hard-core, windshield-wipers-on-high-forever rain. Rain so hard that you're sure your windshield will shatter because of the immense sheets of rain continuously splattering against it. Rain so hard that you fear your little windshield wipers will give out because they're working double overtime. In short, massive amounts of rain.
It has rained so much that the little cow pasture across the street from my building is now a lake. I've taken pictures because whenever this has happened in the past, no one ever believes me. This campus is a flood mecca. It floods and floods and floods at the tiniest drop of rain. It's ridiculous.
See? Ridiculous!!!
It has rained so much that the little cow pasture across the street from my building is now a lake. I've taken pictures because whenever this has happened in the past, no one ever believes me. This campus is a flood mecca. It floods and floods and floods at the tiniest drop of rain. It's ridiculous.
See? Ridiculous!!!
Wednesday, January 3
Random Quotes
"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil." - James Allen
"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do." - Kahlil Gibran
"Pain dies quickly, and lets her weary prisoners go; the fiercest agonies have shortest reign." - William Cullen Bryant
"Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they can talk sense." - Robert Frost
"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds." - Henry David Thoreau
"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything." - Mary Hemingway
"The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness." - Henry David Thoreau
"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do." - Kahlil Gibran
"Pain dies quickly, and lets her weary prisoners go; the fiercest agonies have shortest reign." - William Cullen Bryant
"Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they can talk sense." - Robert Frost
"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds." - Henry David Thoreau
"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything." - Mary Hemingway
"The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness." - Henry David Thoreau
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