Wednesday, June 27

Weirdness!

I did one of those music surveys. You know, where you set your music player on shuffle and see which songs come up for each question. Got some interesting results. These are the exact songs that came up for each question. I did not cheat. And the results are quite interesting. Some are really funny, but some are really weird.
 If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:
Song: Losing All Control
Artist: Rooney

 The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:
Song: Lot of Leavin' Left to Do
Artist: Dierks Bentley

 Your favorite thing to say when drunk is:
Song: We're Young and Beautiful
Artist: Carrie Underwood

 Your message to the world:
Song: These Streets
Artist: Paolo Nutini

When you think of your best friend you think:
Song: I'm Movin' On
Artist: Rascal Flatts

 Your deepest secret:
Song: Night Train
Artist: Amos Lee

Your innermost desire:
Song: Plane
Artist: Jason Mraz 

Your oldest memory makes you think:
Song: Bottom of the Barrel
Artist: Amos Lee

 Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:
Song: Boy Named Sue
Artist: Johnny Cash

 On your deathbed, you'll whisper:
 Song: Song for You
 Artist: Michael Buble 

Your friends say behind your back:
Song: Hey, Good Lookin'
Artist: Hank Williams

You say behind your friends' back:
Song: Let That Be Enough
Artist: Switchfoot

 Your opinion of MySpace:
Song: Cannonball
Artist: Damien Rice

 When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:
Song: U Can't Touch This
Artist: M.C. Hammer

If you found yourself lost on a desert island, you'd yell:
Song: My Hero
Artist: Foo Fighters

 Right now, your feelings are:
Song: Mad World
Artist: Gary Jules

 What's your excuse for reposting this:
 Song: One Arm Man
Artist: Rooney

 Your life's soundtrack:
Song: Did You Get My Message?
Artist: Jason Mraz

 The day you fall in love will be the day that:
Song: Green Eyes
Artist: Coldplay

 Your farewell message to the readers of this:
 Song: You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
Artist: The Righteous Brothers

Thankful

Twelve people. One house.

Six kids under the age of eighteen.

Three near-death encounters with a three-year-old and one flight of stairs.

One bed-wetting accident.

One floor-used-as-toilet accident.

One mother with a bum leg.

Thank God for my aunt and uncle who stayed home from work today.

Sunday, June 24

Solstice and Other Things

The Solstice causes kids to freak out and act like crazy, brainless spaz-o-matics. It's true.

The Solstice does not cause the kid's caretakers to have more patience than usual to deal with their out of control selves.

* * *

Can anyone tell me what the heck Ben Franklin has to do with plumbing?? I've been wondering and asking around for weeks, but no one has been able to help me.

* * *

This weekend markes the anniversary of my glorious Jason Mraz's birth! Happy Birthday, Jason! Come touring near me so I can see you, dammit!

* * *

I need to find a job. Nay, a job needs to find me. One that pays me well and makes use of the diploma that I now own.

* * *

Does one need sinuses? I mean, really and truly? Because they just seem to get in the way of everything for me. Allergies here, Hay Fever there.... does it ever end?

Tuesday, June 19

Oh, Rooney....

I just don't think I can be your friend any more. And by friend, I mean adoring fan who still owns the three Rooney shirts she bought at three different concerts even though she no longer wears them because they're tattered and torn. The same friend who acquired Robert's guitar pick after a show and obtained the autographs of all five band members.

This friend is unhappy for several reasons. One reason is the fact that your second album has been postponed-delayed-postponed about a million times. But that offense can be forgiven. What cannot be forgiven is this reason:

You're touring with Fergie.

Are you aware of this fact? You're headlining for Fergie, a character who insists upon spelling words throughout her songs and relies on her "humps" to attract male suitors. She's brainwashing America's youth and making them into mindless followers of the Britney Spears-Paris Hilton persuasion.

She just seems so unlike you.

I don't know. Perhaps I don't know you as well as I think I know you. It's just disappointing, that's all. I don't understand it. I'm sure touring with her will get you more popularity. But is popularity necessary? I'm sure it is nice for people to buy your albums and go to your shows so that you have money and can live a life of relative leisure. But what about, oh, I don't know.... integrity? Don't you want to be remembered for who you are, not for riding on the coattails of another to achieve fame?

Anyhow, enjoy your tour. I wish that I could see you this time around as it has been many years since I've seen you perform live (almost four years!). Sadly, the only time you were coming near my area was with Fergie and I can't justify spending any amount of money that goes to her.

So, there you go.

Tuesday, June 12

ANTS!

There are ants in the kitchen.

There have been ants in the kitchen for several weeks. The Orkin guy has visited twice, but to no avail. We cannot get rid of these horrible creatures.

Today, I return from an hour long drive with my cousin to find ants everywhere. And not just everywhere, but everywhere. There's a gigantic congregation of them on the floor, on the counter top, and (here's the worst part) INSIDE the Pepsi bottle. I can't take it anymore!!!

And there was still a good amount of Pepsi in the bottle, too. It was, like, brand new.

I am disgusted.

Saturday, June 9

Dear Truck of Mine

Dear Truck,

You are stupid. I hate you. You cost more money than you are worth.

So what if you've been with me for five years? During the last two years, you've been very unfaithful to me. You've messed up several times and have become a drain on my finances.

I take care of you and give you baths frequently. I keep you clean and shiny. When I feed you expensive gasoline, I always fill you to the brim so you can experience the satisfaction of a full tummy. And for what? For you to misbehave and make me angry? You know losing money frustrates me.

You are very frustrating, truck. And your days are numbered.

Thursday, June 7

Day 7 as a Babysitter

As you may already know, I am at war with the Sun. He burned me quite horribly yesterday and I am a pinker, redder, more painful version of my former self.

This morning, I was showing my young charge my terribly red shins. She looked at the burned fronts of my legs and then, looked up at me.

Can you guess what she did next??

She kicked me. She threw her tiny foot into my reddened shins with about as much force as she could muster.

I think she did it on purpose. I'm almost positive.

Wednesday, June 6

Oh, Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun....

Today, I spent three hours in the pool. Three hours is a lot for a pale, translucent person like myself. I also spent a couple of hours in the pool on Monday as well. My skin is uncomfortable. My skin is irritated. It does not like clothes touching it. My skin is not a happy camper.

Looking at my incredibly pink arms and face, I've come to one conclusion.

I've met my sun quota for the week. The Sun is not to shine itself my way until at least Sunday. I am anti-Sun. The Sun and I are not friends. No me gusta el sol. Je n'aime pas le soleil.

In short, the Sun and I are at war. It will be a constant battle, but I should be successful in my goal of keeping clear of the Sun's rays.

Maybe.