My Linguistics professor tells us that the brain resembles "siamese potatoes."
I am beginning to wonder where this school finds its professors.
Mr. Comparative Government professor pronounced my name wrong when he decided to call on me in class. And so, I did not answer. I wasn't sure who he had called on. He's staring at me the entire time. He tries again. "Did I say that right?"
I can understand mispronouncing my last name. Phonetically, the way my family pronounces it is not correct. But my first name??
You hear that boom? That's the sound of my mind blowing.
Tuesday, August 30
Friday, August 26
Meet the Man of Your Dreams....
There's a poster on my floor with that slogan. "Meet the Man of Your Dreams." Apparently, my floor has teamed up with the guys on the fourth floor for $4 Movie Mondays. Girls on our floor sign up to go to the movies with the fourth floor guys.
Fortunately for me, I have a busy Monday schedule and will never be able to make Movie Mondays. Also, I've yet to see anyone in this building who would even come close to being the "Man of My Dreams."
Whatever.
* * *
My Economics teacher... foams at the mouth.
Bless the man's heart. He seems to be a really good guy. But going on just the first impression? I'm kind of frightened. Foam, spittle, what-have-you kept coming out of his mouth.
Since I was seated on the front row, I was quite worried. I couldn't remember if rabies is contagious or airborne or whatever.
* * *
Drivers of the World! May I have a word with you?
(Scratch that. I have no experience wtih drivers of the world.)
Drivers of the United States! Listen up!
For the love of all that is Holy, drive on your designated side of the road. Just tonight, my Rory-truck and I were nearly smushed because two separate individuals felt the need to take up half of their lane and half of mine.
You do not get control of the road! I don't care how big your vehicle is.
Honestly! And just the other day, I watched some yahoo drive all hibbity-jibbity across the oncoming lanes of traffic, as if he (or she) owned the whole damn road.
From now on, stay in your own lane. Do not come careening around a corner and into my lane. If you do so, you are driving too fast. Slow your butt down. Or you will die.
That is all.
Fortunately for me, I have a busy Monday schedule and will never be able to make Movie Mondays. Also, I've yet to see anyone in this building who would even come close to being the "Man of My Dreams."
Whatever.
* * *
My Economics teacher... foams at the mouth.
Bless the man's heart. He seems to be a really good guy. But going on just the first impression? I'm kind of frightened. Foam, spittle, what-have-you kept coming out of his mouth.
Since I was seated on the front row, I was quite worried. I couldn't remember if rabies is contagious or airborne or whatever.
* * *
Drivers of the World! May I have a word with you?
(Scratch that. I have no experience wtih drivers of the world.)
Drivers of the United States! Listen up!
For the love of all that is Holy, drive on your designated side of the road. Just tonight, my Rory-truck and I were nearly smushed because two separate individuals felt the need to take up half of their lane and half of mine.
You do not get control of the road! I don't care how big your vehicle is.
Honestly! And just the other day, I watched some yahoo drive all hibbity-jibbity across the oncoming lanes of traffic, as if he (or she) owned the whole damn road.
From now on, stay in your own lane. Do not come careening around a corner and into my lane. If you do so, you are driving too fast. Slow your butt down. Or you will die.
That is all.
Wednesday, August 24
The Surreal Life
For some crazy reason, I found it necessary to watch a couple of episodes of VH1's Surreal Life. This isn't the first time that I've watched the show. I watched the previous season quite regularly. It was nice to see Peter Brady outside of the Brady home and over the age of 13.
Anyhow. I found myself watching the horrible season that is currently airing. Whoever thought it would be fun and clever to put Janice Dickinson and Omarosa on the same cast should be shot. Those two don't ever need to be anywhere near each other.
Dickinson claims she's the world's first supermodel. Well, ducky for her. She enjoys referring to her supermodel days as often as possible. This is very upsetting for me, as her voice sounds (to me) like nails on a chalkboard. Anyway, the "world's first supermodel" spends most of her time talking about herself, throwing herself onto others, or whining.
Usually, after one of Dickinson's whining bits, the camera switches to Omarosa, who whines and gripes about how awful Dickinson is. But it's not like Omarosa is any better. Omarosa talks about herself non-stop. There is no one else on this Earth besides Omarosa. Just because she was on The Apprentice, she's now a Hollywood It Girl, and she believes that she will have the same lasting fame as Audrey Hepburn.
One episode featured the Surreal Lifers doing a community service project. Somehow, Omarosa was the leader. But she didn't do a damn thing that I saw. She just stood around, supervising. They were supposed to be working as a team. But Omarosa has not concept of this team word.
They both make me want to scream and hurl myself out of my third-floor window. I don't believe that I will be watching any more episodes this season. I must graduate college; not drop out because some crazies on television numbed my brain and took what little sanity I have.
I'm serious. Those ladies need help. And I don't even know where one could begin to help the two of them.
It's tragic.
Anyhow. I found myself watching the horrible season that is currently airing. Whoever thought it would be fun and clever to put Janice Dickinson and Omarosa on the same cast should be shot. Those two don't ever need to be anywhere near each other.
Dickinson claims she's the world's first supermodel. Well, ducky for her. She enjoys referring to her supermodel days as often as possible. This is very upsetting for me, as her voice sounds (to me) like nails on a chalkboard. Anyway, the "world's first supermodel" spends most of her time talking about herself, throwing herself onto others, or whining.
Usually, after one of Dickinson's whining bits, the camera switches to Omarosa, who whines and gripes about how awful Dickinson is. But it's not like Omarosa is any better. Omarosa talks about herself non-stop. There is no one else on this Earth besides Omarosa. Just because she was on The Apprentice, she's now a Hollywood It Girl, and she believes that she will have the same lasting fame as Audrey Hepburn.
One episode featured the Surreal Lifers doing a community service project. Somehow, Omarosa was the leader. But she didn't do a damn thing that I saw. She just stood around, supervising. They were supposed to be working as a team. But Omarosa has not concept of this team word.
They both make me want to scream and hurl myself out of my third-floor window. I don't believe that I will be watching any more episodes this season. I must graduate college; not drop out because some crazies on television numbed my brain and took what little sanity I have.
I'm serious. Those ladies need help. And I don't even know where one could begin to help the two of them.
It's tragic.
Sunday, August 21
Back to School
Back to school!
Back to school,
To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool!
I got my lunch packed up,
My boots tied tight,
I hope I don't get in a fight!
Ohhh, back to school!
Back to school!
Back to school!
Well, here goes nothing!
-Courtesy of Adam Sandler and Billy Madison
Back to school,
To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool!
I got my lunch packed up,
My boots tied tight,
I hope I don't get in a fight!
Ohhh, back to school!
Back to school!
Back to school!
Well, here goes nothing!
-Courtesy of Adam Sandler and Billy Madison
Friday, August 19
You've Got to Be Kidding Me!
Apparently, Gwen Stefani refuses to appear at the MTV Video Music Awards. They didn't ask her to perform, and so, she's not showing up at all.
If this is true, I don't even know what to say. She's up for six awards and she's not coming? Because they won't let her perform?
That shit is bananas. B.A.N.A.N.A.S.
If this is true, I don't even know what to say. She's up for six awards and she's not coming? Because they won't let her perform?
That shit is bananas. B.A.N.A.N.A.S.
Tuesday, August 16
The Allure of Neverland
What's so alluring about the existence of the Neverland?
Is it the fact that anything you so desire can happen at the drop of a hat? One can do seemingly anything, or at least things that they are not able to do in everyday life. One is never hungry, never ill, never anything but excited about life and the new adventures each day brings.
Or is it because one never grows old? They remain youthful and carefree without the worries that maturity bring.
In the Neverland, such things as pink and purple polka-dotted elephants exist. They eat only orange, sugary circus peanuts and spray soda from their trunks. Animals of all different species and colors roam freely and we all coexist peacefully.
In the Neverland, happy thoughts and a little fairy dust can enable one to soar with the clouds, fly faster than the birds, and touch the stars. The stars do not seem so very far away in the Neverland. There is no need for vehicles. There is no need for gasoline.
In the Neverland, dreams come true and everyone is happy. No one is ever sick. Death is always there, but it is looked at as an adventure, not a mournful passing.
Langston Hughes once said, "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
We need our dreams. Mr. Hughes proclaims it so. Dreams keep our spirits high. As Marsha Norman explains, "Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you."
We must continue to imagine.
We must continue to believe.
We must continue to dream.
What would the world be like if everyone gave up on their dreams? There are thousands of inventions that would not exist if people gave up on their dreams. Their dreams were inspired by their imagination. Imagination is a wonderful thing. Imagination sparks dreams. The Neverland exists when one uses their imagination.
Did you know that a person can grow up and not lose their precious imagination? However, in the process of growing older, people are often subjected to things that bring about great sorrow or suffering. Imagination is often left behind for more "adult-like" things. The days that were once long and full of all sorts of adventures are forgotten. Time becomes scarce; there is never enough time to do all that needs to be done in one day.
But we need to imagine, just as we need to dream and sometimes, to dream. The very intelligent Albert Einstein shared with the world that "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
In short, don't give up on something that you want, even if it is something you've imagined and only seen a few times in your dreams. There are people in Life whose sole purpose in Life is to bring you down. They are here to dash every dream, break every hope, and squash every imaginative thought you ever have. Do not give up.
If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time. -- Marcel Proust
And me? What do I choose to dream about?
The existence of the Neverland.
Is it the fact that anything you so desire can happen at the drop of a hat? One can do seemingly anything, or at least things that they are not able to do in everyday life. One is never hungry, never ill, never anything but excited about life and the new adventures each day brings.
Or is it because one never grows old? They remain youthful and carefree without the worries that maturity bring.
In the Neverland, such things as pink and purple polka-dotted elephants exist. They eat only orange, sugary circus peanuts and spray soda from their trunks. Animals of all different species and colors roam freely and we all coexist peacefully.
In the Neverland, happy thoughts and a little fairy dust can enable one to soar with the clouds, fly faster than the birds, and touch the stars. The stars do not seem so very far away in the Neverland. There is no need for vehicles. There is no need for gasoline.
In the Neverland, dreams come true and everyone is happy. No one is ever sick. Death is always there, but it is looked at as an adventure, not a mournful passing.
Langston Hughes once said, "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
We need our dreams. Mr. Hughes proclaims it so. Dreams keep our spirits high. As Marsha Norman explains, "Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you."
We must continue to imagine.
We must continue to believe.
We must continue to dream.
What would the world be like if everyone gave up on their dreams? There are thousands of inventions that would not exist if people gave up on their dreams. Their dreams were inspired by their imagination. Imagination is a wonderful thing. Imagination sparks dreams. The Neverland exists when one uses their imagination.
Did you know that a person can grow up and not lose their precious imagination? However, in the process of growing older, people are often subjected to things that bring about great sorrow or suffering. Imagination is often left behind for more "adult-like" things. The days that were once long and full of all sorts of adventures are forgotten. Time becomes scarce; there is never enough time to do all that needs to be done in one day.
But we need to imagine, just as we need to dream and sometimes, to dream. The very intelligent Albert Einstein shared with the world that "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
In short, don't give up on something that you want, even if it is something you've imagined and only seen a few times in your dreams. There are people in Life whose sole purpose in Life is to bring you down. They are here to dash every dream, break every hope, and squash every imaginative thought you ever have. Do not give up.
If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time. -- Marcel Proust
And me? What do I choose to dream about?
The existence of the Neverland.
Thursday, August 11
Forty Frickin' Dollars!
It cost forty frickin' dollars to fill up my gas tank today. Forty frickin' dollars!
I am never driving again. Or at least for a couple of hours. 'Cause forty dollars?! That's crazy.
Especially when I was used to filling up my old little car, Rollerskate, for less than fifteen.
It's never cost this much before. I'm somewhat depressed.
* * *
I met the cutest little boy today while getting my hair cut. He was also there for a trim. He was probably three. He just kept saying the funniest things. He was very concerned when he realized the woman was cutting my hair. He told me, "You can't get your hair cut here. They'll cut it like a boy's! You have to go somewhere else."
Later, after our cuts were both finished, he told me my hair was cool. But his was cooler, as the stylist finished his hair before my stylist finished with my hair.
He also informed me that someday, his momma was going to buy him shoes that are way cooler than the Nike Shox I was wearing today. He said that his shoes would light up and cost approximately 54132 times more than what mine cost.
* * *
The mall is sinking!
Well, not quite. But it is flooding. Not quite sure where the water is coming from. Quite sure that I do not want to know where the water formerly lived.
I am never driving again. Or at least for a couple of hours. 'Cause forty dollars?! That's crazy.
Especially when I was used to filling up my old little car, Rollerskate, for less than fifteen.
It's never cost this much before. I'm somewhat depressed.
* * *
I met the cutest little boy today while getting my hair cut. He was also there for a trim. He was probably three. He just kept saying the funniest things. He was very concerned when he realized the woman was cutting my hair. He told me, "You can't get your hair cut here. They'll cut it like a boy's! You have to go somewhere else."
Later, after our cuts were both finished, he told me my hair was cool. But his was cooler, as the stylist finished his hair before my stylist finished with my hair.
He also informed me that someday, his momma was going to buy him shoes that are way cooler than the Nike Shox I was wearing today. He said that his shoes would light up and cost approximately 54132 times more than what mine cost.
* * *
The mall is sinking!
Well, not quite. But it is flooding. Not quite sure where the water is coming from. Quite sure that I do not want to know where the water formerly lived.
Tuesday, August 9
The Forecast? Crazy.
There's many doors at the Casino that are marked NOT AN EXIT.
Today, I came out of one of these doors. I come out of these doors often, as I work behind these sort of doors. But tonight, there was a guest watching the door, I suppose. Because when I came out of said door, he comes up to me and asks, "If that wasn't an exit you came out of, where'd you come from??"
I just came out of nowhere, I guess. I just Disapparated from my previous position to that very position outside of the door where you saw me. Lucky me. I should have gone to Hogwarts for my education. Or at the very least, some other school for magical children.
Guess I just missed out.
Today, I came out of one of these doors. I come out of these doors often, as I work behind these sort of doors. But tonight, there was a guest watching the door, I suppose. Because when I came out of said door, he comes up to me and asks, "If that wasn't an exit you came out of, where'd you come from??"
I just came out of nowhere, I guess. I just Disapparated from my previous position to that very position outside of the door where you saw me. Lucky me. I should have gone to Hogwarts for my education. Or at the very least, some other school for magical children.
Guess I just missed out.
Monday, August 8
Sneezing Dangerous Crazies
Why do I attract the craziest people on God's green Earth?
I don't know if it's supposed to be some kind of joke, but it is no longer funny, not that it was funny in the first place.
The little Blackjack Dealer who has a "thang" for me found out that I know about his "thang" for me. He blew up at my co-workers last night. Like, crazy behavior that shocked several people. He never acts like that. He's so mild-mannered and nice to everyone. And then, he flips out because someone told me that he likes me!
One more night left. I hope nothing else happens. Tonight's shift was just one big drama after another. We weren't even all that busy. We just kept having one crisis pop up before we had the previous crisis handled.
If I was a drinker, I'd have gotten rip-roarin' drunk these last three nights. But I'm not a drinker. So, there's no point in the rip-roarin' business.
* * *
Did you know that each time you sneeze, your heart stops? It has been said that sneezing is the closest to death one can get without actually dying. Isn't that bizarre?
So, when someone near you sneezes (or you sneeze), just think about it. Your heart just stopped right then. And yet you're still alive. What if your heart never started beating again?
You also can't keep your eyes open when you sneeze. Which means, you could very well have a terrible car accident because of a little sneeze.
Sneezing is dangerous.
* * *
Peter Jennings passed away today. He lost his battle with lung cancer.
I really enjoyed Peter Jennings. I've grown up with him delivering the news. It's quite... weird.
I don't know if it's supposed to be some kind of joke, but it is no longer funny, not that it was funny in the first place.
The little Blackjack Dealer who has a "thang" for me found out that I know about his "thang" for me. He blew up at my co-workers last night. Like, crazy behavior that shocked several people. He never acts like that. He's so mild-mannered and nice to everyone. And then, he flips out because someone told me that he likes me!
One more night left. I hope nothing else happens. Tonight's shift was just one big drama after another. We weren't even all that busy. We just kept having one crisis pop up before we had the previous crisis handled.
If I was a drinker, I'd have gotten rip-roarin' drunk these last three nights. But I'm not a drinker. So, there's no point in the rip-roarin' business.
* * *
Did you know that each time you sneeze, your heart stops? It has been said that sneezing is the closest to death one can get without actually dying. Isn't that bizarre?
So, when someone near you sneezes (or you sneeze), just think about it. Your heart just stopped right then. And yet you're still alive. What if your heart never started beating again?
You also can't keep your eyes open when you sneeze. Which means, you could very well have a terrible car accident because of a little sneeze.
Sneezing is dangerous.
* * *
Peter Jennings passed away today. He lost his battle with lung cancer.
I really enjoyed Peter Jennings. I've grown up with him delivering the news. It's quite... weird.
Sunday, August 7
Morbidly Miserable, Morose, and Murky
I'm feeling all sorts of out of sorts.
Mostly just tired. And angry.
Work completely sucked tonight. And then, we got super busy when I was supposed to be leaving. There was supposed to be another worker there to help out, but she conveniently went on break two seconds before the rush came in. Thanks for that, dear. You're a doll. Also, said worker kept messing things up and saying, "Who knows what I did? There's no telling."
Well, somebody better be figuring something out. By the sixth time she said that in a one hour time period, I was ready to slam my head against the wall. I don't believe that would have been helpful, but still.
Security Guard decided to talk to me all the freakin' time. (Did you know that I have a gorgeous smile?) This is the same Security Guard that bowed to me several weeks ago. Like I want to listen to him yap about whatever. Then, he decides to ask this Kid who graduated with me about me. Stupid, stupid Security Guard. The Kid practically yells my name for all to hear. I turn and look at him. Security Guard flusters. The Kid continues, "Dude, she's meaaaaan. Like, she looks sweet and stuff. But no. Freakin' evil."
Damn skippy. I am evil. And I like it that way. So, don't mess with me, yo.
Security Guard better recognize and leave me the hell alone. I have only two days left, but things are going to get ugly if he doesn't stop. And for his information, there's only one security guard in the whole place who I would ever even think about dating. It's not him, that's for sure.
I found out that one of the Blackjack dealers thinks the world of me. He thinks I'm sweet and nice. And beautiful. (Bless his little heart... I've sure got him fooled!) He waited around for me last night to get off of work. But I ended up leaving early, so he waited for nothing. Apparently, he's been telling everyone that I'm all kinds of wonderful.
He always notices when I am missing from work. He asks about me every night that I'm not there (when he is there). And he seemed genuinely interested in the fact that I went to speech camp for two weeks. But I never realized that he liked me!
I guess I'm just an idiot. Or I just don't pay attention. Stuff like this has happened on more than one occasion, and I never see it coming. I'm just.... I don't know what.
Apparently, the word is that he's been trying to build up the courage to ask me out. (It seems like everyone knew about this before I did!) But now, since he found out my last day is Monday, he's trying to muster up his courage a little quicker.
I hope he doesn't ask me.
I don't feel like going out with anyone right now, even precious little Blackjack dealers. I don't want to have to tell him that, though. I don't want to have to say "No." to him. He really is precious and I don't want to upset him.
My freakin' brain skipped out on me today. I still had two hours left in my shift and my brain just clocks out. Couldn't think to save my life. I thought I was going to hurt myself. It was just horrible. Security Guard overheard me telling someone that my brain quit working. He offered his condolences. And then, he tells me that his brain usually quits working the minute he clocks in.
Well, ducky for you.
Mostly just tired. And angry.
Work completely sucked tonight. And then, we got super busy when I was supposed to be leaving. There was supposed to be another worker there to help out, but she conveniently went on break two seconds before the rush came in. Thanks for that, dear. You're a doll. Also, said worker kept messing things up and saying, "Who knows what I did? There's no telling."
Well, somebody better be figuring something out. By the sixth time she said that in a one hour time period, I was ready to slam my head against the wall. I don't believe that would have been helpful, but still.
Security Guard decided to talk to me all the freakin' time. (Did you know that I have a gorgeous smile?) This is the same Security Guard that bowed to me several weeks ago. Like I want to listen to him yap about whatever. Then, he decides to ask this Kid who graduated with me about me. Stupid, stupid Security Guard. The Kid practically yells my name for all to hear. I turn and look at him. Security Guard flusters. The Kid continues, "Dude, she's meaaaaan. Like, she looks sweet and stuff. But no. Freakin' evil."
Damn skippy. I am evil. And I like it that way. So, don't mess with me, yo.
Security Guard better recognize and leave me the hell alone. I have only two days left, but things are going to get ugly if he doesn't stop. And for his information, there's only one security guard in the whole place who I would ever even think about dating. It's not him, that's for sure.
I found out that one of the Blackjack dealers thinks the world of me. He thinks I'm sweet and nice. And beautiful. (Bless his little heart... I've sure got him fooled!) He waited around for me last night to get off of work. But I ended up leaving early, so he waited for nothing. Apparently, he's been telling everyone that I'm all kinds of wonderful.
He always notices when I am missing from work. He asks about me every night that I'm not there (when he is there). And he seemed genuinely interested in the fact that I went to speech camp for two weeks. But I never realized that he liked me!
I guess I'm just an idiot. Or I just don't pay attention. Stuff like this has happened on more than one occasion, and I never see it coming. I'm just.... I don't know what.
Apparently, the word is that he's been trying to build up the courage to ask me out. (It seems like everyone knew about this before I did!) But now, since he found out my last day is Monday, he's trying to muster up his courage a little quicker.
I hope he doesn't ask me.
I don't feel like going out with anyone right now, even precious little Blackjack dealers. I don't want to have to tell him that, though. I don't want to have to say "No." to him. He really is precious and I don't want to upset him.
My freakin' brain skipped out on me today. I still had two hours left in my shift and my brain just clocks out. Couldn't think to save my life. I thought I was going to hurt myself. It was just horrible. Security Guard overheard me telling someone that my brain quit working. He offered his condolences. And then, he tells me that his brain usually quits working the minute he clocks in.
Well, ducky for you.
Friday, August 5
Mr. Curiosity
Hey, Mr. Curiosity
Is it true what they've been saying about you?
Are you killing me?
You took care of the cat already.
And for those who think it's heavy,
is it the truth or is it only gossip?
Is it true what they've been saying about you?
Are you killing me?
You took care of the cat already.
And for those who think it's heavy,
is it the truth or is it only gossip?
Tuesday, August 2
Shut up, Already!
MTV... please go back to playing just music videos. Pretty please?
I mean, every once in a while, you have fair to decent show on the air. But look at all the crap you're shoving into impressionable minds?
Date My Mom.
Room Raiders.
My Super Sweet 16.
That last one is horrible. I wish I had never gotten the chance to view that awful show. However, I have a sister who enjoys MTV. Or I live with teenlings who do not function without their daily dose of MTV.
I do not enjoy hearing the screams and cries of spoiled little children that are getting extravagant sixteen birthdays. And I absolutely loved watching the episode where one parent took away bratty child's credit card, only to have the other parent give her another one. Way to be a team, parents!
I don't regularly watch MTV. I don't choose to regularly watch MTV. But when I am living in a one television home where the one television is tuned to MTV... I don't have much of a choice.
So, MTV... please? Shut UP, already!
I mean, every once in a while, you have fair to decent show on the air. But look at all the crap you're shoving into impressionable minds?
Date My Mom.
Room Raiders.
My Super Sweet 16.
That last one is horrible. I wish I had never gotten the chance to view that awful show. However, I have a sister who enjoys MTV. Or I live with teenlings who do not function without their daily dose of MTV.
I do not enjoy hearing the screams and cries of spoiled little children that are getting extravagant sixteen birthdays. And I absolutely loved watching the episode where one parent took away bratty child's credit card, only to have the other parent give her another one. Way to be a team, parents!
I don't regularly watch MTV. I don't choose to regularly watch MTV. But when I am living in a one television home where the one television is tuned to MTV... I don't have much of a choice.
So, MTV... please? Shut UP, already!
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