Tuesday, February 27

Ridiculousness of Unexplainable Varieties

In Sunday's paper, I found a wonderful coupon ($4.00) for Claritin-D. Since that seems to be the only thing that helps my allergies anymore, I clipped that sucker out and pocketed it for my next Walmart trip.

Fast forward to today and anticipated Walmart trip. I decide to spring for the more expensive 20 pack of Claritin-D since I have a wonderful coupon. I wait fairly patiently in line until my turn. Then, I step up to the counter, hand over my coupon, driver's license, and card detailing what medicine I want and wait some more. The lady pulls the Claritin-D off some shelf of medications they try to keep out of the hands of crazy meth addicts and begins to ring it up. She looks at my driver's license and realizes that it is out of state.

Earlier in the semester, they just typed in my driver's license number and I was able to get whatever medicine I needed. But not today.

Today, I am informed that because my driver's license doesn't have the compatible or proper bar code, I can't have the Claritin-D. They can't type in my information anymore. I am just screwed. I have to remain miserable and attempt to use inferior medications that lack proper ingredients.

So, basically, I'm being penalized for going to an out-of-state school. Isn't that ridiculous?

And speaking of school, I learned today that the graduate school I applied to had 185 applicants last year. Out of this amount, only 52 got in! That's 28%! There's no way I'm getting into that school, especially when I've spent my undergraduate years at a university that no one has ever heard of. And by some crazy chance I do get in, it will be an act of God. Then, I'll be obligated to go to Boston and attend school whether I really want to or not because obviously, God wants me there (hello! Act of God!). If I get in and decide not to go, I would basically be spitting in God's eye. And because God doesn't take too kindly to people spitting in His eye, He will smite me at His earliest convenience.

Oy vey.

Thursday, February 8

Three Reasons Why I Hate the Housing Department

The Housing Department at my school are officially on my list. Right under JJ Abrams and Tom Cruise. Do you want to know why?

Of course you do.

Exhibit A - Malfunctioning fire alarm. Since returning to school for my final semester as an undergraduate, the fire alarm in my building has been malfunctioning. It likes to malfunction in the middle of the night, for some reason. The fire alarm has started to go off more and more frequently. People have come and looked at it and declared it fixed. And then, the fire alarm wakes us all up yet again.
Last night or early this morning, the fire alarm begins to wail its horrid sound. We stumble out into the lobby where the RAs tell us to go back to bed. We head back to our rooms. Once in our rooms, the fire alarm continues to blare for five minutes. Then, it stops abruptly. One second later, it is back on. It wails for about a minute and stops. And promptly starts back up again. It was on for at least ten minutes. This is ridiculous.

Exhibit B - "Save the resident. Save the world." The dumb housing department has decided that this awful line from Heroes will be the new slogan for the RA recruitment this spring. To emphasize their point, they have plastered the slogan everywhere. Sidewalks, message boards, bulletin boards, trees... it's ridiculous for two reasons. One, I hate the show and the very sight of the slogan makes me ill. Two, the slogan is retarded. "Save the resident. Save the world." What the crap does that mean? Let me tell you something, housing department. The RAs will have to save a whole dorm full of residents if the fire alarm doesn't get fixed. People have stopped evacuating the building when the fire alarm goes off. I know you've threatened us with a $250 fine if we don't exit the building, but people do not care. I suggest you spend your money more wisely by fixing the stupid fire alarm. Otherwise, you'll have so many residents to save and not enough people to do the saving.

Exhibit C - Battle of the Halls is coming up. I once participated in this somewhat fun event. However, to advertise for this year's event, the housing department is putting up flyers that say:
Someone may die. Ask your RA about B.O.T.H.
Someone may die? Who came up with this idea? It's horrible. Let's freak people out by announcing in ominous text that someone may die. Are there monkeys running the housing department at this university?

I suppose that's demeaning to the monkeys.

Thursday, February 1

I Just Threw Up A Little In My Mouth

The Grammys are coming up. They've gotten progressively worse over the years, praising the worst music ever. They're just another subset of some silly MTV awards show. It's pathetic, really.

Something that is way beyond pathetic is the fact that "My Humps" was nominated for Best Pop Performance --Duo or Group. Do you remember this song? The annoying song by the Black Eyed Peas that proclaimed "My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps?"

This is just horrible. It is beyond the beyonds.