Sunday, April 29

Meet Schuba!

I am no longer the owner of a wonky laptop.

Well, Kip is technically still mine until I give him to my sister. So, I suppose I'm the owner of a wonky laptop and a completely unwonky laptop.

My dear parents were generous enough to bestow upon me a new laptop as a graduation present on account of the fact that I'm graduating in two weeks.

In two weeks, I'll have a Bachelor's degree in English. I'm not exactly sure of what I'm going to do with that degree.

But I have a pretty new laptop to help me figure things out.

Wednesday, April 25

Okay. I Confess. . .

There's something I must confess. I've been keeping it a secret from much of the world for quite a long time. Frankly, I just can't do it anymore. It's too much work and I'm very tired.

Although, I hesitate to share this confession because I'm sure there will be those that make fun of me. However, I care not. Let them poke fun at me. I'm in love and I can no longer deny it.

I love. . .

The Prince & Me. I abso-freakin-lutely adore it. If it is on television, I have to watch it. If I play my DVD of it once, I have to play it again. I can watch it for a week straight or longer. It's insane how much I love this movie.

I don't understand my fascination with the movie. Is it the Danish prince business? Is it the cute prince played by Luke Mably? Is it the funny lines that are splashed throughout the movie ("Oh, you mean, Prince Ate-My-Triscuits and didn't replace 'em?")? Is it the fabulous Julia Stiles?

I just don't know. I have no clue and it drives me crazy when I try to understand my crazy love for this movie.

Now, they recently made a sequel to The Prince & Me. But it's not as good. One, it doesn't have Julia Stiles. Two, it doesn't have half of the original actors reprising their roles. Three, it doesn't have Julia's fantastic hairstyle, a style that I continuously come back to time and again as a hairstyle for me.

Of course, once I get my haircut like Julia's in the movie, I rarely fix it like it should be fixed. But, really, in my defense, I don't know how they fixed it for the movie. So, how am I possibly to recreate a style when I don't know how it was created in the first place? It's just cute!

So, there. I've said it. I'm in love with a chick flick of a movie. It's probably one of my most watched DVDs. It's only second to The Departed.

Perhaps I shouldn't watch so much television.

Tuesday, April 24

Things I Have Learned Recently

Bigfoot lives in Oklahoma.

Sleep does not come when you want it.

Yeats is/was a perverse individual.

Creepy kids can write funny stuff.

Sleeping while driving does not mix.

It's hard to work on a laptop with a dim screen.

Cell phones are a hassle and a half.

Even if you wear a new pair of shoes 3 days the first week we get them, they can and will make your ankles bleed when you wear them a second week.

Ankle injuries are quite painful.

Alec Baldwin's daughter is a dirty pig.

Tuesday, April 10

Dear Frank

You are a damn liar.

You specifically told me that if I sprayed this stuff on my pretty new shoes, the spray would adhere to my shoes and repel water. I even watched a demonstration where you sprayed your tie and dripped water on to it. And the water just rolled right off like magic!

Well, it doesn't work like that. Today, it is raining. I am wearing my new shoes with their meshness because all the sneakers have the meshness these days (don't ask me why!). I sprayed the miracle spray on the meshness of my shoes. And I didn't just spray a little. I sprayed these bad boys like CRAZY. You can ask Nat.

Anyhow, what happens as I'm walking to Brit Lit? A big, fat raindrop of monstrous proportions fell from the sky and plopped onto the meshness of my sneaker! And can you tell me what happened next, Frank? Can you?

That stupid raindrop permeated my sneaker and soaked my sock! Soggy socks is one of the most hideous things in all the world! I despise soggy socks. Soggy socks should be outlawed.

But I thought I'd be safe from soggy socks. However, I was thoroughly mistaken because YOU, Frank, are gigantic liar. I should have known better than to buy anything from you. You told me you were a fan of noodling, for crying out loud! Noodling is not a sport! It's nonsense. You are nonsense. I despise you and your noodling nonsense.

I hope something comes along and ruins your tie.

Sunday, April 8

Things I Dislike

1. My laptop, Kip. He is sharp shooting pain in my aorta. And sharp shooting pains in your aorta are not good. I'm currently typing this with a very dim screen. So dim that it hurts my eyes AND my aorta.

2. Kids that throw trash in the bed of my truck. I don't throw trash in your vehicle, now, do I? And if I find out who keeps using my truck as a trash receptacle, I'm going to set a trap to catch the perp.

3. Food that contaminates living beings. What the crap is up with the food contamination? First, my favorite peanut butter is targeted. And now my dog?! What did my dog ever do to deserve poisoning? A big fat nothing. Food is not supposed to kill you. Predators can kill their prey, though. Are we being killed off by some big bad predator? Hmmm... makes one think....

4. Gas prices. Next week, I'll have to sell my liver on the black market to fill up my gas tank.

5. School papers. I am so freakin' tired of writing papers. And since my laptop is being dumb, I have to write with a very dim screen, borrow a suitemate's laptop (which I hate doing), or spend hours on end in the library. Do you know what lurks in the library? Germs! Monster germs of death that try to kill me with the flu and all kinds of nasty diseases.

6. All University of Florida sports teams. If they win another thing, I will puke on my new shoes. They're a freakin' monopoly! Give someone else a chance, for crying out loud! You don't have to win everything to be considered great. It just overinflates your ego to the point of obnoxiousness.

7. Daylight Savings Time. It's dumb. I wish the days were all the same length all year long. I also find it rude to give someone an extra hour of sleep in the fall only to take away that hour in the spring. That's just bad manners.

8. Parents that don't take care of their children. You bring them into the world and you should take care of them. If you don't want to take care of them, then sign over your rights. You're just dead weight, pulling down your kid. And how rude is it to bring a child into the world anda not take care of the child? Like the kid can go out on Day 3 of Life and interview for a job.

9. Dumb people. People who behave without thinking or who behave selfishly irritate me. Think of your fellow man for once! You've got to share the world with other people, you know. Contrary to whatever your mommy told you, you are not the center of the universe.

10. Right now, I don't have a number 10. However, if you know me, you also know that given a short amount of time, I will find something else to dislike.

Dear Laptop

Dear Laptop,

I hate you.

The end.

Tuesday, April 3

Further Proof....

So, I'm listening to this demo song I found of Alex Band's. And it is just further proof that he is all kinds of awesome and I will forever be a fan.

"Take Hold of Me"

Never been more alone
I'm sinking like a stone
Seems everything I knew
No longer gets me through this madness
I can't take it now

Everything I planned
Has crumbled into sand and
Slipped into the sea
Won't someone please save me from this pain
Cause I'm going insane

CHORUS:
So take hold of me
Just take hold of me
Yeah take hold of me
And never let me go

Don't let me go

The people I leaned on
One blink and they are gone
And so I turn to You
To pull my lost soul out of this flood
I'm dying for love

CHORUS

Can you see me?
Find me
Free me

Just take hold of me
Yeah take hold of me
Oh well take hold of me
I've got nowhere left to go

CHORUS

I'll be all right
I'll be all right
I'll be all right
Yeah
I'll be all right