Three Reasons Why I Hate the Housing Department

The Housing Department at my school are officially on my list. Right under JJ Abrams and Tom Cruise. Do you want to know why?

Of course you do.

Exhibit A - Malfunctioning fire alarm. Since returning to school for my final semester as an undergraduate, the fire alarm in my building has been malfunctioning. It likes to malfunction in the middle of the night, for some reason. The fire alarm has started to go off more and more frequently. People have come and looked at it and declared it fixed. And then, the fire alarm wakes us all up yet again.
Last night or early this morning, the fire alarm begins to wail its horrid sound. We stumble out into the lobby where the RAs tell us to go back to bed. We head back to our rooms. Once in our rooms, the fire alarm continues to blare for five minutes. Then, it stops abruptly. One second later, it is back on. It wails for about a minute and stops. And promptly starts back up again. It was on for at least ten minutes. This is ridiculous.

Exhibit B - "Save the resident. Save the world." The dumb housing department has decided that this awful line from Heroes will be the new slogan for the RA recruitment this spring. To emphasize their point, they have plastered the slogan everywhere. Sidewalks, message boards, bulletin boards, trees... it's ridiculous for two reasons. One, I hate the show and the very sight of the slogan makes me ill. Two, the slogan is retarded. "Save the resident. Save the world." What the crap does that mean? Let me tell you something, housing department. The RAs will have to save a whole dorm full of residents if the fire alarm doesn't get fixed. People have stopped evacuating the building when the fire alarm goes off. I know you've threatened us with a $250 fine if we don't exit the building, but people do not care. I suggest you spend your money more wisely by fixing the stupid fire alarm. Otherwise, you'll have so many residents to save and not enough people to do the saving.

Exhibit C - Battle of the Halls is coming up. I once participated in this somewhat fun event. However, to advertise for this year's event, the housing department is putting up flyers that say:

Someone may die. Ask your RA about B.O.T.H.

Someone may die? Who came up with this idea? It's horrible. Let's freak people out by announcing in ominous text that someone may die. Are there monkeys running the housing department at this university?

I suppose that's demeaning to the monkeys.