I am Dork Vader. The Ruler of All Dorks.
I shall warn you of this only once: Do not mess with me.
If you do, I will suck you into my dorkdom and you will become a faithful minion. You will lose all capacity to think on your own. I shall think for you. You shall do every dorky thing I dream up. And you shall do it with a smile on your face.
When I say jump, you'll jump. You won't ask "How high?"
You are never to ask me questions. Asking questions suggests an intelligence level that you will never reach. Do not try to pretend that you have reached this intelligence level. Liars will be promptly exiled.
Any resistance on your part will involve you doing something so dorky that the rest of the Earth will shun you for the rest of eternity.
Again, do not mess with me. For I am Dork Vader, and I hold your pathetic future in my powerful hands.
Do as I say, and your future shall be bright. Disobey, and your future will be worse than Hell itself.
Consider yourselves warned.
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