Why Can't One Buy New Clothing?

I'm getting really tired of the worn-out, full of holes jeans look. Especially when I don't prefer to buy jeans that look like they've been worn a million times before they got to me. I understand that it is the "style" or whatever, but hello! What about me, the consumer that hates to wear faded jeans? The same consumer that hates jeans made out of stretch material and jeans that come complete with holes when you buy them from the department store?


What's the point of buying jeans when they look as though they've already been worn? If I wanted worn jeans, I think I would have looked at the local garage sales or thrift/consignment stores before deciding to spend my hard-earned dollars on over-priced jeans of grunge.


In the past two years, it has become increasingly more difficult to find jeans that I actually want to wear. And I am getting tired of it. I guess I'm going to start wearing black or khaki slacks. Although, those won't look nearly as cool with my Chucks, but what am I supposed to do?


I loathe the jeans that are on the market right now. I don't enjoy the jeans made out of stretch material that creeps down your legs during the day. I know, I know. You're probably saying, "Wear a belt and you won't have that problem!" Well, guess what? I don't like wearing belts. I don't like wearing jeans with holes in the them. I don't like wearing jeans that have that dirt stain to them, making them "vintaged." I don't like wearing jeans that look as if they'll fall apart the moment you slip them on!

This is ridiculous. Jeans makers, make some real jeans! Is that too big of a request??

Bananas. B.A.N.A.N.A.S

Since I first heard Gwen Stefani's latest song, I have been searching for ways to temporarily become deaf to keep me from hearing such trash. However, I have been without luck thus far.

Now, I don't dislike Gwen Stefani. In fact, I very much enjoy her, especially when she's with No Doubt. What I don't enjoy is this ludicrous song one might hear on the playground being sung by a 36 year old. I understand that she's catering to her audience. I also know that she can do a lot better than Hollaback Girl.

Let's take a look at what Gwen has given us to work with:

Uh huh, this is my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Okay. Apparently, her "shit" involves using improper grammar and made-up words. What exactly is a "hollaback" girl? I looked in several dictionaries and could not find the meaning of this word. Is it slang for "holler-back" girl? Of course, if it is, it is still not a word and it still doesn't make sense.

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit

Again, she's talking about her "shit." That's fine. But if this song is
geared to a younger audience, I think she can come up with some other word
besides "shit."

I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms downs, getting everybody fired up

Fine. People are talking about you behind your back. Wah. It happens every single day. And you, dear Gwen, probably talk "shit" about other people as well. Someone called you a name today? Well, that's not fair! What can we do? I know! Let's make up a song that encourages violence. I mean, that's the one thing the world doesn't have enough of, right? Violence?

No principals, no student-teachers
All the boys want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

Okay. So, she's going to meet her enemy behind the bleachers and she's going to kick butt! Yippee skippy hooray for you. What I absolutely hate about this verse is that she uses a line from one of the best bands ever. If you're going to use a lyric from Queen, can you at least use it in a manner befitting such royalty? A lyric from one of the greatest rock bands ever, and it's lost in a pile of crap! I bet, somewhere, Freddie Mercury is spinning in his grave.

Let me hear you say this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This shit is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

That little mess right there drives me insane. This shit is bananas? Whoever heard of "shit" being "bananas"? And why use bananas? Is she trying to keep her song clean? She's already repeatedly used "shit", so why use "bananas"? What's the deal with spelling it out? I mean, I'm thankful that she's produced a mnemonic device to help people remember the proper spelling of "bananas", but honestly? This shit is bananas? Does she really expect to be taken seriously as an artist when she goes around saying This shit is bananas?

* * * *

Another reason why I hate my hometown:

I was filling in for my sister at the local grocery store. A group of rowdy children came through my line, along with their mother, who was about to pull her hair out. After they left, I turned to the bag boy, and muttered, "And that is a perfect example of why the human race shouldn't procreate."

The look on Bag Boy's face told me that I had confused him somehow. "What? You're losing me with your big words."

I quickly thought back over what I had said. Had I used an obscure word that he might not have heard during his lifetime? No, they all seemed pretty easy to me. So, I ask, "What are you talking about?"

"Procreate! What does that mean?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a perfect example of why the human race shouldn't procreate.

Idol Host an Android??

I have reason to believe that Ryan Seacrest is an android.

He is positively not human. I don't know whether he's made of machine or plastic, but the man is not human.

I don't find him attractive, but the man looks flawless. Like a Ken Doll or something. It's not normal. CNN or 20/20 should look into this. I bet they'd find out something gruesome.

Perhaps he was human at one time. But then, he sold his soul to the Devil to become a Reality TV host.

I am working on an entry discussing Gwen Stefani's song, Hollaback Girl. If you enjoy Gwen Stefani, I recommend you staying away from this blog for many moons. Blondie is going down.

The only great Blondie was the original Blondie -- Debbie Harry. She rocks!

Ever Wanted To Pull Your Stomach Out Your Nose?

Yeah. I've been feeling like that.

And now, I've been stuck in limbo for the past two days, afraid to eat anything of real substance, for fear that I will be seeing it again in just a few short hours.

I'm hungry.

I quit Wal-Mart this morning. Did you know that I was working at Wal-Mart? Yeah, I was. I worked Saturday and Sunday. I was supposed to work on Monday, but alas, I was too ill.

I am supposed to start at the Casino next week. If that job falls through for any reason, my punishment is the spend the summer at McDonald's.

I had a dream that Victor Garber was at my house. We were waiting on Mouse to show up. I told him there was to be no fun until Mouse showed up. However, he insisted on singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Victor Garber, sitting in my living room, singing, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

At first, I didn't know what he was singing. But then, well, it was very weird. It's funny now, but at the time, I didn't know whether to run or have him committed!

That's Dangerous!

I've been very dangerous today. I've walked on the wild side, dabbled in the dark forces, spent my risks on one throw of the dice.

Mother and I went and ate Chinese food. It was particularly yummy. We had too much left over, so we kindly asked for a to-go box or two. We piled up our leftovers and we quickly found that we had a dilemma. How do we transport the sweet and sour sauce back home, without spilling it all over the car? Mom decides to pour the sauce into one of the compartments of the box. Just as she finished pouring and right before I started pouring my sauce, this waiter came over with two styrofoam bowls of sweet and sour sauce with their own lids. He saw what Mom had done and goes, "Oh, no! That's dangerous!"

For some reason, I found it insanely funny.

I also chopped off a good three inches off my hair. I went nuts. It had to go. The humidity was driving me crazy and making me itchy. So, now, I am left with a slightly longer than chin length bob.

I am insanely awesomely cool. Don't forget it.

I Am

I am tired.
I am tired of living in a nothing town, far away from anything exciting or important.

I am bored.
I am bored because there's nothing for me to do.

I am happy.
I am happy because Lena Olin is on tonight's Alias.

I am old.
I am old because my little sister is graduating this week.

I am jobless.
I am jobless because I'm a college student who has just gotten out of school for the summer.

I am determined.
I am determined to go sky-diving on my 21st birthday.

I am elated.
I am elated because Vaughn proposed to Sydney. *insert high-pitched squeal*

Something to Remember

I want everyone out there who stumbles upon this blog to remember something.

People will come and go throughout your life. And no matter how many people come, no matter how many people go, you'll always have yourself.

That being said, I think I should point out that you shouldn't do things just because other people want you to do them. You should do what you want to do, what makes your heart happy.

In the end, all you are going to have is yourself. Doesn't it seem like a good idea to make that self happy, seeing as how you're going to be stuck with it for the rest of your life?

At the end of your life, you're going to look back and remember all that you did (well, hopefully). Do you want to remember how you did everything to please everyone else in the world but forgot all about yourself? Do you want to remember how you never took time for yourself, never did anything that you wanted to do? I mean, we shouldn't be selfish. We shouldn't always do for ourselves.

But once in a while, we need to stop and take a good look at what's going on in our life. If you're not happy with how your life is going, then change it! What good is it to go around unhappy all the time? Why live your life if you're just going to hate it?

Just something to think about.

Dork Vader to the Rescue!

I am Dork Vader. The Ruler of All Dorks.

I shall warn you of this only once: Do not mess with me.

If you do, I will suck you into my dorkdom and you will become a faithful minion. You will lose all capacity to think on your own. I shall think for you. You shall do every dorky thing I dream up. And you shall do it with a smile on your face.

When I say jump, you'll jump. You won't ask "How high?"

You are never to ask me questions. Asking questions suggests an intelligence level that you will never reach. Do not try to pretend that you have reached this intelligence level. Liars will be promptly exiled.

Any resistance on your part will involve you doing something so dorky that the rest of the Earth will shun you for the rest of eternity.

Again, do not mess with me. For I am Dork Vader, and I hold your pathetic future in my powerful hands.

Do as I say, and your future shall be bright. Disobey, and your future will be worse than Hell itself.

Consider yourselves warned.

Will the Real Monster Please Stand Up?

So, I enjoyed Monster-In-Law today. I would have enjoyed it more without the presence of Jennifer Lopez, but oh well. We can't have everything we want.

I thought Jane Fonda performed very well in Monster-In-Law. She was very funny (as was Wanda Sykes). And of course, Michael Vartan was excellent, although, he wasn't onscreen enough for my liking. The hype around J.Lo (as she was formerly called) has ruined her as an actress for me. She was like Paris Hilton before Paris stole the limelight. Furthermore, I wish Paris would realize that her 15 minutes of fame ended, oh, about 72 hours ago. I'm tired of seeing her everywhere.

Of course, I must be the only one, seeing as how she's still plastered everywhere.

I do want to address the backlash that surrounds Jane Fonda for the "Hanoi Jane" incident. While I was not alive at the time, I do find it slightly stupid for her to be receiving such backlash to this very day. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions about everything and anything. If you don't like what someone has to say, don't listen. It's as simple as that.

The first amendment grants us the right to free speech. Some would do well to remember that.

And if you have a problem with what I'm saying, then get yourself your own blog and say whatever the hell you want. Don't jump down my throat because I have a differing opinion. If you want to fight with me on my opinions, that's fine. But I am entitled to have them, whatever they may be.

A Freakin' Sauna!

It's like a million degrees outside. Really.

Everything is moved out of my room and into the hallway. Just waiting for Dad and Papa to come help me move the heavy stuff. The only thing left in my room is my television, my egg crate, my Kip, my Vaughn, and me. And what's not out in the hallway is already in Rory. Rory is already packed to capacity.

I hope it doesn't rain.

Why is it so warm today? It's May. May is supposed to have mild weather. Not sweat-to-death-have-a-heatstroke-weather.

It's not even summer yet. We're going to cook like those did in Europe in 2003. Remember? When temperatures soared so high in August of 2003 that 30,000 Europeans died because of the heat?

I don't want to cook. I'm much too pretty to cook. *nods*

Speaking of my beautiful self, this new shampoo I'm using makes my hair fabulous. So, if you see someone out there with extremely fabulous hair and red Converse sneakers on her feet, it's probably me. ;)

Look at Me! I'm a Fountain!

I just shot water out of my nose.

I took a drink of water. Then, I got this mental image of Darth Vader imitating Napoleon Dynamite's dance. This is not a good thing to think when you've just filled your mouth with water.

I laughed. And water shot out of my nose. Very unpleasant.

Yes, I realize that this is like my fourth post in one day. Can you tell I've had a lot of free time on my hands? No more finals = nothing to do.

Except shoot water out of one's nose.

Another One Bites the Dust...

My beloved backpack, Squishy, bit the dust today. He broke in two. He is no use to me in two pieces.

I am distraught. Squishy has been with me through all of my freshman and sophomore classes. Squishy even went with me to Speech Camp last summer.

But now, poor Squishy is lying in a plastic bag in the nearest dumpster.

Let us have a moment for Squishy.


***
I guess it's a good thing I was already thinking about getting a new backpack before Squishy's untimely death.

Any suggestions?

Note to Self: Don't Die!

Do not carry heavy things out to your vehicle during the midday hours.

I just did that. And I realize that I'm an idiot. It's super hot outside and humid! Do I have a death wish? Let's just carry a whole bunch of crap outside, just when the sun is at its hottest! Bet that will be loads of fun.

I am all kinds of retarded. And now, I shall reward my stupidity with a trip to Dairy Queen.

Edited to add: It's freakin 98 degrees outside. It's May. 98 degrees is summer weather. Summer doesn't start for over a month.

It'll probably be 118 degrees come July. Thank you, Global Warming!

Finished!

I am officially done as a college sophomore. Every class finished; every test taken; every project completed.

There's a lot of moving going on. Lots of vehicles parked illegally in the fire zone so its occupants won't have to carry heavy things as far. Moms, Dads, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Sisters, and Brothers are all out helping their loved ones move out.

I know I've said this before, but I don't want to leave.

I need to pack up the little things and take them out to my truck. I need to clean some things up so I can check out of my room tomorrow.

But all I want to do is crawl into my bed and pull the covers up over my head.

Is that a bad thing?

Missteaks in Speling

I absolutely despise spelling mistakes.

It seriously drives me crazy. I want to pull my hair out. Is it that hard to learn how to spell a word or two? Like disgusting. It is not discusting. I don't even see how you get that.

Or when someone uses a word that has two different spellings. This usually means it has two different meanings. For example, weather and whether. This kid was talking on his website/blog about how he didn't know "weather or not" his car needed a new tire or something. Unless his tire was erupting into violent storms or hurricanes, I don't imagine he's got much of a problem.

I don't know. I guess I'm just some crazy psycho when it comes to spelling matters. Perhaps I should enter a 12-step program or something. Could be beneficial to my health.

Well, Crapdaddle.

Apparently, Jennifer Garner is pregnant. If this is indeed true, there will probably be some weird Rambaldi baby storyline next season. Or Sydney will spend a lot of time sitting at a desk instead of out on missions.

And that's fine, I guess. I just afraid of what it will do for the show.

Maybe that will mean more screen time for Michael Vartan. SuperVaughn to the rescue!

Sigh. Michael Vartan, you're my hero. Kisses.

I need a frickin' summer job.

Hello! I Can See YOU!!!

Dude. While I was stopped at a stoplight, I noticed this little old man behind me doing something quite odd. The intersection was busy; traffic was hectic. Yet here sat this little old man in his business suit and new Ford Taurus doing something completely ridiculous.

This man was picking his nose. Not only that, he was eating what he was pulling out of his nose. He would shove his finger up his nose, pull out what he could, examine it for a moment, and then shove it into his mouth and chewed. CHEWED! He was chewing his nose crusties in front of God and everyone.

I wanted to smack some sense into him. Or at least let him know that everyone could see what he was doing.

He probably didn't care that people could see him enjoying his after-dinner snack. He most likely figures that it's something that everyone does.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't know too many people that eat the junk that comes out of their nose. And the ones that I do know are under the age of five. This man was at least ten times the age of five.

I don't care whether the man was hungry or not. Don't do stuff like that in public.

Because we can see you!!

Luke, I Am Your Father's Brother's Cousin's Sister....

I want to see Revenge of the Sith. I'm all for dark!Anakin. I'm sorry. I've been waiting for the evil to come full circle.

But I am excited! I wasn't really too excited about the prequels. And out of the other three, the original Star Wars is my favorite.

I wish I could have a light saber duel. Anyone got a pair so we can duel?

Eh. I don't want to go home tomorrow. I love you, Family, but I love you more when I don't get agitated at you. And it's not your fault (usually). I just get agitated easily sometimes.

This has been a nothing post. Thank you for allowing me to suck precious time from your day.

What is the World Coming To??

J.Lo wants to be president. What the heck is that all about? Just because you might can rule the entertainment world, it does not mean that you can rule a country!

If she wanted to run for office, she should have stuck with Affleck. He's got more government knowledge than she does.

Can you imagine what the United States would become? We'd all be wearing fur and trying to get our butts insured. Foreign policy would exist of accomodating more weeks for Fashion Week.

And why do people break out street lights? What is the point of that? That is so rude. Why do people throw junk everywhere? Why do people cut down so many trees? Why do people drive freakin' gas-guzzlers when gas prices are so high?

What is wrong with Harry Potter? Pope John Paul thought Harry Potter was a good thing. It could be used to teach Christianity to children. And now, this new pope is all "Down with HP!"

And why does Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his bed? I mean, I don't know if he's guilty or not; for all I know, he could be. But why in the world would let little boys that you didn't father sleep in your bed if you weren't guilty? I'm sorry, Michael. You should've been a little smarter than the average bear.

What's going to happen to that runaway bride from Georgia? I understand that she got cold feet, but think of all the work that went into finding her because everyone thought she was a missing person? It's like the boy who cried wolf. She needs to pay a fine or do some community service or something. I'm not necessarily saying she should be thrown in jail, but something has to be done. Otherwise, people are going to run off all the time just to see the hype the media will make.

And why does the media keep making such hype out of nothing? Find some real news to share for once. Not which celebrity is getting divorced, which is getting fatter, which is getting too thin...Shut UP already. I understand its the job of the papparazi to be out there taking pictures of people that the world wants to see. But can't you be a little more respectful? Do you have to chase them through traffic, endangering the prey and the predator, as well as everyone else out there.

Everyone needs to leave everyone else alone. Could start some world peace.

Mission Responsible

No. That's not the new name of the Mission Impossible film. It's a song, by Michael Tolcher. And I love it. Whenever I feel like I don't have it in me to keep on going in school, this song kicks me back into gear. So, I'm sharing the lyrics. *nods*

Be a part of an institution, lead the way in a revolution
wear a wig and a permanent smile
Be a part of a celebration, make the plan or the cancellation
Quick decisions -- let's change our minds

There's people out there, and it's people we are
Just faces from different places
Drinking juice from mason jars

I'm on a mission responisible, say your goodbyes

Be a father of no relation, be a symbol of procreation
Strike a match and there's sure to be fire
Be a part of your situation
Blame yourself for your frustration
Dig a hole till you lose your desire

There's people out there, and it's people we are
Just names playing different games
Drinking coke and eating candy bars

I'm on a mission responsible, say your goodbyes
I'm finding anything's possible, closing your eyes

Be a part of your own decision
See your future with tunnel vision
Take a chance if you want to survive
Be the talk of a conversation
you're a superstar out of isolation
Get the keys, it's your turn to drive

Well, there's people out there, and it's people we are
Just voices with different choices
smoking dope and rockin' out guitars

Take a look all around you
Say that you want to
See something better than this

I'm on a mission responsible, say your goodbyes
I'm finding anything's possible, closing your eyes

Note: I do not encourage the smoking of dope or any substance you wouldn't normally find in one's body.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Remember those books? Yeah. Those were fun. Why can't life be like a Choose Your Own Adventure book? Where if you don't like the outcome, you just go back to the beginning and choose another adventure?

I guess you can, in some ways. But it'd be so much easier if we could jump to our adventures like in the books, instead of having to work towards an adventure.

Did you know that Ford has a program to help college students get a new or used vehicle? You should definitely check out this site. That's exciting. Dad didn't find it as exciting as I found it. Oh, well. That's the way of life, I suppose.

There are rumors that Jennifer Garner is pregnant. If this brings up some Rambaldi baby storyline, I'm going to be one angry Alias fan. She's all Sydney Bristow, Super Spy! There are no time for children right now. Take a look at Dixon's kids.... they get all kidnapped! Do you want that to happen to your children, Sydney?

Now, I don't necessarily want her to have a child with Ben Affleck, but like she cares what I want. In my opinion, Michael Vartan is much prettier than Ben Affleck.

Why Can't I Be Like Peter Pan?

I don't want to go home this summer. I want to stay here in my little private room, with my television that lets me watch whatever I want when I want to watch it. I want to stay with my high speed internet, my mini-fridge of wonderfully cold bottled water and yogurt. I want to stay here, where it takes only five minutes to get to the nearest Wal-Mart. I want to stay here, where groceries are cheaper because there are several grocery stores in this city instead of one. I want to stay here, where I can fix a fast-food craving in less than five minutes.

I don't want to go home. I don't want to leave my little store that I work at, or my little P.O. box. I don't want to go home and forget all about my French. I don't want to have to take down all my pictures and posters and pack everything away in a little over a week.

Whenever I go home, I feel like I'm taking fifty steps back instead of forward in life. And I hate that. The speed limit is slower there, the overall feeling is slower. Time seems to stop there. It just hangs there, not moving. It's stifling.

I don't want to go home. I want an adventure. Home is no adventure. I've had all the adventures I can have in that town.

Why did I read the best book in the world? Peter Pan makes me depressed.

Save the World!

As a citizen of a country that is the largest contributor of greenhouse gases, I would like to voice my opinion that said country should do more to stop global warming. We can all band together and keep our world safe for future generations. Please join my efforts at Stopglobalwarming.org.

Back to homework.