My Father, the Money Scammer

I'm taking a nap earlier today. My father comes home, promptly opens the blinds, and begins a conversation with me.

"You just got your first big paycheck, right?"

I roll over, frowning into the sun that's streaming through the awful window. No building should be built with the majority of its doors and windows lying east and west. In the morning, there's too much sun. During the day, you're fine. And then, as the sun is setting, you can barely make out the screen on your television.

"No, Dad. I get paid this week."

"Okay. You need two new tires."

We've been dancing around the need for new tires for almost two years now. He'll tell me that I need new tires. Then, I'll put back the money for new tires. When the new tire time rolls around, he decides that I don't need new tires just yet.

Apparently, it's new tire time. It seems pretty convenient that he brings this up just about every time I come into some money.

He also mentions that my car insurance is due next month.

Now, I may be completely wrong, but I am pretty darn sure that I pay my car insurance every six months. He says we've always paid it quarterly. I think we can pay it quarterly and it would be cheaper, but I pay it bi-annually.

I do not want to shell out money for car insurance and new tires with my first paycheck. I was hoping to pay off some debt, buy some new clothes, take a road trip, or something.

But no. I will be paying for new tires and car insurance. Yippee skippee hooray.

* * *

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are engaged. They became engaged while visiting the Eiffel Tower.

Unfortunately, I believe that they have ruined the allure of the Eiffel Tower for me. I will most likely never look at the Eiffel Tower the same way ever again.

Thanks for ruining my life, TomKat. I hope you two weirdos enjoy a couple of months of wedded bliss before the Devil comes to claim the souls you gave up for two summer blockbusters.