So, it's offical. I am going to Hell. I am going to spend whatever afterlife there is burning in eternal damnation.
Why, might you ask? Why would someone as sweet and innocent as myself be doomed to a fiery existence?
Well, it's simple. I laughed hysterically for hours on end yesterday. And I'm still laughing.
I'm sure you're asking yourself what could be so hysterically funny to cause me to laugh myself into Hell. It's a very good question. One I am sure that I would ask, if I were you.
Steve Irwin died yesterday. The 'Crocodile Hunter' bit the dust. And not by a crocodile, surprisingly; I was sure that he was going to meet his death by some angry croc. Instead, he died in a "freak" accident: a sting-ray barbed him.
Apparently, sting-rays aren't aggressive. According to reports, Mr. Crocodile Hunter was "interacting" with the sting-ray when the animal used its defense mechanism and shot a pointy, poisoned barb into his chest.
Of course, this brings up a crazy question: How does one "interact" with a sting-ray? Was Irwin carrying on a conversation with the sting-ray? Were they on their way to some underwater, open-ocean market? Were they playing tag? Was Irwin hounding the sting-ray like the paparazzi hound stars of all shapes and sizes? And finally, the sting-ray just snapped like Cameron Diaz and flipped Irwin off?
Anyway, Irwin died.
And it is sad that he died, but I still laughed. I realize that laughing at someone's death is evil, but I'm telling you, he asked for it. He has aggravated animals for years! Those animals have been jumped on, poked, prodded, and harassed to the fullest extent. They've even had fresh baby meat dangled in front of them. In a word, they've been tortured. Mother Nature finally struck back.
She does this, when she gets all angry about things. It is best to leave Mother Nature the eff alone.
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