Short Random Bursts of Randomness

It's raining anvils outside. There is not a speck of dry anything anywhere. It's ridiculous and I will not stand for it!

If this blog becomes quiet, it is because I have drowned in the torrential downfall that is rapidly swallowing my campus.

* * *
So, apparently, Tom Cruise kissed Katie Holmes for, like, ten years at their highly publicized, mock Italian wedding. And it was a mock wedding. They were married before they left the states. But I just want to point out that the reason the kiss lasted so long was because that was when Tom was officially sucking Katie's soul out of her body. She is now without a soul. She is a mindless drone, eager to follow Tom to the ends of the Earth.

You were so cute and fun on Dawson's Creek. Well, when Joey was with Dawson. I didn't care so much for Joey to be with Pacey. And I realize that as a girl you dreamed of marrying Tom Cruise. But was that really necessary? I dreamed of marrying Zach Morris, but you don't see me actually marrying him, do you?

* * *

My stupid school had a stupid program on Tuesday night entitled "Sex in the Dark." They kept putting up posters to advertise for it. There were "Sex in the Dark" posters everywhere. But it didn't tell you what the program was about. So, really, isn't that false advertisement? Because I would imagine that a program called "Sex in the Dark" would involve a gigantic orgy of college students, having sex in the dark. Right? Am I wrong in this?

Well, that's not what the program was about. I didn't go or anything. But I later found out what it was all about and it wasn't sex in the dark.

* * *

A car dealership in a small town near my small town has a little sign proclaiming that they have the cheapest prices from here to "Tin Buck To."

Really? Tin Buck To?

I don't know if it is meant to be a joke or if they really don't know how to spell Timbuktu. I kept meaning to take a picture of it when I was home but I always forgot. Tin Buck To.

I mean, seriously.

* * *

There's this O'Reilly's Auto Parts store in my college town. Their little sign encourages you to buy "O'Rielly's" gift cards for those hard-to-buy-for people. They misspelled their own name! And the name is on the sign in HUGE letters!

* * *

Britney Spears: could you please wear appropriate clothes at all times? I am glad that you're divoricing KFed, but couldn't you at least throw on some underpants before you go out partying with Paris Hilton?

And really, Britney? Paris Hilton? How different from KFed is she? Sure, she wears designer clothes, but she's kind of icky in her own way. She often gathers animals (dogs, monkeys, ferrets) and then, abandons them, much like KFed does with his own children. They're not very different, ol' Kevin and Paris.

Just something to think about.

Catch a Falling Star....

I didn't catch a falling star. I didn't even see a falling star.

I was so excited for the Leonids tonight. It has been years since I saw a meteor shower, and I just knew it would be awesome. But was it awesome? No. It was not awesome. And I'll tell you why.

Amanda and I bundled ourselves up and walked out to the darkest corner of campus to wait for the falling star action. We set ourselves down on the ground and turned our little heads to the sky.

Nothing.

Zip.

Nada.

Just two frozen kids in the dark for 45 minutes.

Pickles.

Things Are Gettin' Ugly

Tom Cruise is getting married this weekend. His last step before he formally tackles world domination. Don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *
I live in a dorm full of idiot children. They have decided to throw a Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday night. To advertise this, they've put up a big teal monstrosity with fake, spraypainted leaves that proclaims:
"John Smith
<3's
Pocahontas"

!

That is totally wrong. John Smith did not love Pocahontas. And they weren't involved in the first Thanksgiving. Pocahontas was dead by the first Thansgiving. This stupid sign only further emphasizes the fact that many children learn their "history" from Disney movies. It's tragic and I will not stand for it. I am boycotting Thanksgiving in the dorm setting this year. No Thanksgiving!

* * *
I have a boatload of crap to do in the next month or so. Let's make a list, shall we?

Nov. 17 - American Lit to 1865 exam
Nov. 20 - American Lit to 1865 essay due (800 words)
Nov. 20 - Thesis due for Young Adult Lit research paper
Nov. 22 - GRE at noon!
Nov. 27 - Modern American Lit essay due (500-750 words)
Dec. 02 - British Lit paper due (1800 words)
Dec. 04 - Young Adult research paper due (1800-2000 words)
Dec. 11 - Young Adult Lit final
Dec. 13 - History of the English Language final
Dec. 13 - British Lit final
Jan. 05 - Emerson application due!

Is that not a boatload of stuff? This doesn't take into account all the reading and regular, everyday school work I must do, or all the studying that needs to take place for the GRE.

Blah. Shoot me in the face.

Proof!

Remember this? Or this? Two tales of squirrels being rude and generally outlandish to me? And people laughed at me? Mocked my pain?

Well, there's proof that squirrels attack people. And the proof is right here: Mean Squirrel Attacks Pa. Letter Carrier.

Take that, naysayers and disbelievers! Squirrels are not cute and fluffy little friends. They are evil, disgusting rodents! They will attack you when you least expect it. Did you see the picture I took of the a squirrel staring down my friend? They are HOSTILE!

Don't say I didn't warn you.