So, today, I was walking to my Government class. I was just walking along, looking at the early morning around me. All of a sudden, I feel this sharp pain on my left shoulder. It felt as though someone had hit me with something!
I looked at the ground and saw the offensive object: an acorn!
I knew there was no one behind me. So, immediately, I glance up at the massive tree beside me. And there, on a branch halfway up the tree, sits a squirrel. He stares at me, laughter dancing in his beady little eyes.
And that's when I realized. I had been hit by a squirrel. A damn squirrel threw an acorn at me!
A squirrel!
Now, I know that it sounds completely insane. But I'm here to tell you, squirrels on college campuses are mean. MEAN! I've seen them attack humans on more than one occasion.
But most people think of squirrels as being cute and cuddly. That's exactly what they want you to think! You believe them to be merry little acorn gatherers. In reality, they're gearing up for the War of the Species: Squirrel vs. Man!
The US government needs to waste some money looking into stopping that nonsense.
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