There are several signs around my dorm proclaiming "Free Sex!"
They also have a date and time listed.
There are two things that come to mind.
A ----- What a way to advertise! I'm sure that sign will catch everyone's attention.
B ----- These people are frauds! This is false advertisement. There's no way they can legally give out free sex at a dorm activity. It's ludicrous and false advertising all the way and someone should be sued!
Just sayin'.
Tuesday, November 29
Monday, November 28
Sneaky Ranting
It's nearly midnight. I should be studying for the two exams I have tomorrow.
But no. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I am blogging.
I am so tired of studying! I am so unprepared for tomorrow's exams. My eyes want to fall out of my head and my brain wishes to explode.
I just wish things weren't so messy. And I also wish that I could sleep for a good long while.
Two more weeks of school. One week of finals. I expect to lose my mind within the coming three weeks. Of course, you can't necessarily lose what you never had....
* * *
I am seriously getting tired of bad things happening to good people. I don't know if November is just the worst freakin' month of the year or what, but geez. I'm tired of this business. It's not fair and it's unnecessary. It's also rude.
I'm also tired of cell phones. I'm about to give up on the damn things altogether. They're worthless and time-sucking and irritating and annoying and ..... and....
* * *
November has totally sucked. One good thing has come out of November. Okay, maybe two, but that's pushing it. Do you hear me, November? You're stupid and I don't like you at all. Go away, please. In fact, I take back the "please".... just go away!
* * *
This semester, I have completely read one of my textbooks. This is the first time in all my years of schooling that I have read the entire textbook. All 555 pages have been read, re-read, and read again by me.
And I'm still lost. Why can't one sleep on their textbooks and have their brains seep up the knowledge? Sounds like a good plan to me.
But no. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I am blogging.
I am so tired of studying! I am so unprepared for tomorrow's exams. My eyes want to fall out of my head and my brain wishes to explode.
I just wish things weren't so messy. And I also wish that I could sleep for a good long while.
Two more weeks of school. One week of finals. I expect to lose my mind within the coming three weeks. Of course, you can't necessarily lose what you never had....
* * *
I am seriously getting tired of bad things happening to good people. I don't know if November is just the worst freakin' month of the year or what, but geez. I'm tired of this business. It's not fair and it's unnecessary. It's also rude.
I'm also tired of cell phones. I'm about to give up on the damn things altogether. They're worthless and time-sucking and irritating and annoying and ..... and....
* * *
November has totally sucked. One good thing has come out of November. Okay, maybe two, but that's pushing it. Do you hear me, November? You're stupid and I don't like you at all. Go away, please. In fact, I take back the "please".... just go away!
* * *
This semester, I have completely read one of my textbooks. This is the first time in all my years of schooling that I have read the entire textbook. All 555 pages have been read, re-read, and read again by me.
And I'm still lost. Why can't one sleep on their textbooks and have their brains seep up the knowledge? Sounds like a good plan to me.
Monday, November 21
Weird-ocity
Weird things have continued to multiply and show themselves this past weekend.
On Saturday, I visited a movie theater with Sir. A lady behind us dropped the lid and straw to her cup. Then, she asks Sir to check under his seat for the missing lid and straw. Totally disgusting! If you lose something to the floor of a movie theater, you do NOT go back for it, especially if it's something you can easily replace! And if you can't replace it, then the item must be sent to an autoclave or washed in some sterilizing agent.
Thank God that the missing lid and straw were not found. If she had found them and put the straw back into her cup and in her mouth, I would have been seriously ill.
Also, at the movie theater, a woman sat down beside me. Apparently, this woman hasn't been to a movie theater in years, because she turns to me and says, "This place is pretty cool. I'm really excited." Or something to that effect. Anyway, seeing as how it was my first time to visit that particular movie theater, I just kind of smiled and nodded at her.
After visiting the movie theater, Sir and I went to the Olive Garden, where we had to wait outside for a little while. While we were waiting, we saw a woman come out of the restaurant with a doctor's mask on her face. A surgical mask! I guess she was trying to keep herself from getting sick. But all I could think was either A) This woman has SARS! or B) This woman is a follower of Michael Jackson.
Anyway, Saturday was a weird day. I didn't think I could see anything weirder this weekend. But I was wrong.
On Sunday, while eating at McDonald's, a young female adult came waltzing in dressed in ripped black tights and a ripped black dress. She had fake blood splattered all over her clothing. Her face and hands were painted a pale white and were also covered with blood. Her eyes were covered by those white contacts, which made it look like she didn't have any eyes at all.
She was just hanging out, having a Quarter Pounder with Cheese at McDonald's on a Sunday. She just happened to be dressed like an I don't know what. She frightened me! I was frightened and in need of my Mommy!
Later that day, while leaving Wal-Mart, some dirty teenage male person decided he wanted to talk to me. He was yelling at me to come over to him, like I was a pet or something. I was hoping he was yelling at my friend and not me, for he gave me the heebie-jeebies.
But no. She assures me that he was talking to me. However, I'm going to keep telling myself that he was actually yelling at her and pray that I never see this person again.
The Weirdlings are out in full force. Be safe!
On Saturday, I visited a movie theater with Sir. A lady behind us dropped the lid and straw to her cup. Then, she asks Sir to check under his seat for the missing lid and straw. Totally disgusting! If you lose something to the floor of a movie theater, you do NOT go back for it, especially if it's something you can easily replace! And if you can't replace it, then the item must be sent to an autoclave or washed in some sterilizing agent.
Thank God that the missing lid and straw were not found. If she had found them and put the straw back into her cup and in her mouth, I would have been seriously ill.
Also, at the movie theater, a woman sat down beside me. Apparently, this woman hasn't been to a movie theater in years, because she turns to me and says, "This place is pretty cool. I'm really excited." Or something to that effect. Anyway, seeing as how it was my first time to visit that particular movie theater, I just kind of smiled and nodded at her.
After visiting the movie theater, Sir and I went to the Olive Garden, where we had to wait outside for a little while. While we were waiting, we saw a woman come out of the restaurant with a doctor's mask on her face. A surgical mask! I guess she was trying to keep herself from getting sick. But all I could think was either A) This woman has SARS! or B) This woman is a follower of Michael Jackson.
Anyway, Saturday was a weird day. I didn't think I could see anything weirder this weekend. But I was wrong.
On Sunday, while eating at McDonald's, a young female adult came waltzing in dressed in ripped black tights and a ripped black dress. She had fake blood splattered all over her clothing. Her face and hands were painted a pale white and were also covered with blood. Her eyes were covered by those white contacts, which made it look like she didn't have any eyes at all.
She was just hanging out, having a Quarter Pounder with Cheese at McDonald's on a Sunday. She just happened to be dressed like an I don't know what. She frightened me! I was frightened and in need of my Mommy!
Later that day, while leaving Wal-Mart, some dirty teenage male person decided he wanted to talk to me. He was yelling at me to come over to him, like I was a pet or something. I was hoping he was yelling at my friend and not me, for he gave me the heebie-jeebies.
But no. She assures me that he was talking to me. However, I'm going to keep telling myself that he was actually yelling at her and pray that I never see this person again.
The Weirdlings are out in full force. Be safe!
Friday, November 18
FedUp With A Lot of Things
You know what? FedEx sucks. Don't send anything via FedEx.
I ordered a new cell phone a week and a half ago. The seller shipped it the day after I bought it. It arrived in a city just 45 minutes from me two days later. And it sat there in a FedEx facility because the dummies at FedEx couldn't find me. They couldn't find the city I live in. They couldn't find a city of over 30,000 people.
It's not a city tucked away somewhere. It's not down fifty side roads and a back road or two. It's a city right on the frickin' interstate. UPS, DHL, and Airborne Express have all been able to find me on numerous occasions. But to FedEx, I don't exist.
FedEx sent my phone back to the shipper because they couldn't find me. I asked around and found that other people in that area have had similar problems with FedEx.
So, lesson learned. FedEx is not the best way to send your parcels.
* * *
I don't listen to country music all the time. I do have my favorite country artists and all, but I don't listen to it all the time. If I have to hear the latest song by Trace Adkins one more time, I'm going to shoot myself in the foot. Honky Tonk BaDonkyDonk or whatever is called is the most idiotic song since the Black Eyed Peas song, My Humps. It's horrible. It's right up there with Hollaback Girl.
Absolutely awful. There should be some law demanding that idiotic songs can not be played on the radio.
I ordered a new cell phone a week and a half ago. The seller shipped it the day after I bought it. It arrived in a city just 45 minutes from me two days later. And it sat there in a FedEx facility because the dummies at FedEx couldn't find me. They couldn't find the city I live in. They couldn't find a city of over 30,000 people.
It's not a city tucked away somewhere. It's not down fifty side roads and a back road or two. It's a city right on the frickin' interstate. UPS, DHL, and Airborne Express have all been able to find me on numerous occasions. But to FedEx, I don't exist.
FedEx sent my phone back to the shipper because they couldn't find me. I asked around and found that other people in that area have had similar problems with FedEx.
So, lesson learned. FedEx is not the best way to send your parcels.
* * *
I don't listen to country music all the time. I do have my favorite country artists and all, but I don't listen to it all the time. If I have to hear the latest song by Trace Adkins one more time, I'm going to shoot myself in the foot. Honky Tonk BaDonkyDonk or whatever is called is the most idiotic song since the Black Eyed Peas song, My Humps. It's horrible. It's right up there with Hollaback Girl.
Absolutely awful. There should be some law demanding that idiotic songs can not be played on the radio.
Sunday, November 13
If the Moon Was Out, It'd Be Full
If the Moon was out last night, it'd totally have been full. Weird things were popping up everywhere.
Take Wal-Mart, for example. As Natty and I passed by the music section, we were treated to the vocal talents of a seven-year-old girl belting out Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl. I still haven't figured out exactly what a "hollaback girl" is, but this darling child seemed to know what it was all about. The child had been listening to a music preview of Gwen's latest album when she was overtaken by the music. She opened her little mouth and let the nonsense lyrics fly out and land where they may.
Apparently, the child was not aware that everyone could hear her as she sang at the top of her lungs. It's like people picking their noses while in their cars at a stoplight. For some reason, no one realizes that they can be seen by the whole damn universe!
Also, in the Wal-Mart, Natty and I were followed by the blue-haired Cape Crusader. Yes.... followed by a young adult with blue hair wearing a cape. This youngling was not quite as frightening as the Cape Boy I have to sit next to in Religions class. But the sight of this blue-haired individual was thoroughly unnerving. He proceeded to follow us down several aisles, which made me wish I had a panic button like the kids get on Commander-In-Chief.
But alas, I am just a normal individual and not the child of the leader of the free world. Woe is me.
After our Wal-Mart outing, we drove through town. Terrible mistake. Every young adult imaginable had to be out there. Mass congregations of teenlings around clumps of vehicles had invaded various parking lots. Every child from the age of 12-19 had to have been out there! There were so many of them! I can't even begin to make an estimate of how many teenlings were out last night. A whole freakin' lot of them, that's for sure.
And just where were the parents of these heathen children?
Take Wal-Mart, for example. As Natty and I passed by the music section, we were treated to the vocal talents of a seven-year-old girl belting out Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl. I still haven't figured out exactly what a "hollaback girl" is, but this darling child seemed to know what it was all about. The child had been listening to a music preview of Gwen's latest album when she was overtaken by the music. She opened her little mouth and let the nonsense lyrics fly out and land where they may.
Apparently, the child was not aware that everyone could hear her as she sang at the top of her lungs. It's like people picking their noses while in their cars at a stoplight. For some reason, no one realizes that they can be seen by the whole damn universe!
Also, in the Wal-Mart, Natty and I were followed by the blue-haired Cape Crusader. Yes.... followed by a young adult with blue hair wearing a cape. This youngling was not quite as frightening as the Cape Boy I have to sit next to in Religions class. But the sight of this blue-haired individual was thoroughly unnerving. He proceeded to follow us down several aisles, which made me wish I had a panic button like the kids get on Commander-In-Chief.
But alas, I am just a normal individual and not the child of the leader of the free world. Woe is me.
After our Wal-Mart outing, we drove through town. Terrible mistake. Every young adult imaginable had to be out there. Mass congregations of teenlings around clumps of vehicles had invaded various parking lots. Every child from the age of 12-19 had to have been out there! There were so many of them! I can't even begin to make an estimate of how many teenlings were out last night. A whole freakin' lot of them, that's for sure.
And just where were the parents of these heathen children?
Wednesday, November 9
Crisis Averted and Other Randomness
Major has been figured out. I will no longer feel the need to fling myself off the nearest cliff. Although, I did think of some interesting ways in which to fling myself off of said cliff. Oh, well. Another day, I suppose.
My cell phone has been acting totally screwy. It is not polite to act in the manner in which it has been acting. Not polite at all! I've been searching for a replacement phone, but to no avail. Damn the Man!
In my store, a guy walked in with his girl. She bought him a drink and was rewarded with a kiss.
That display was nearly rewarded with my projectile vomiting. People should realize that my acid reflux is acting up and I can't keep things down.
Hiccups keep bubbling out of me. It's annoying and painful. I'm tired of the hiccups. I feel like I'm under attack or something. Having the hiccups all the time is really unattractive.
Last night's Boston Legal dealt with the problem of beastiality ruining marriages. Well, I guess the marriage wasn't really ruined. The character "broke it off" with Wendy, his bovine lover. And his wife took him back because he promised to sell Wendy. But still. I just can't fathom having a cow lover. The wife caught him making love to their cow! A cow! The logistics of the whole idea .... I cannot comprehend.
My cell phone has been acting totally screwy. It is not polite to act in the manner in which it has been acting. Not polite at all! I've been searching for a replacement phone, but to no avail. Damn the Man!
In my store, a guy walked in with his girl. She bought him a drink and was rewarded with a kiss.
That display was nearly rewarded with my projectile vomiting. People should realize that my acid reflux is acting up and I can't keep things down.
Hiccups keep bubbling out of me. It's annoying and painful. I'm tired of the hiccups. I feel like I'm under attack or something. Having the hiccups all the time is really unattractive.
Last night's Boston Legal dealt with the problem of beastiality ruining marriages. Well, I guess the marriage wasn't really ruined. The character "broke it off" with Wendy, his bovine lover. And his wife took him back because he promised to sell Wendy. But still. I just can't fathom having a cow lover. The wife caught him making love to their cow! A cow! The logistics of the whole idea .... I cannot comprehend.
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