Lame Excuses and Stalkers Galore

So, former Representative Mark Foley takes full responsibility for his behavior to the male pages. But first, he has to acknowledge that he was molested by a clergyman as a youth.

Let's insert a major rolling of the eyes here, shall we?

Marky, Marky, Mark. Haven't you heard? Confessing that you were molested by a clergyman is so 2002! I'm sure you could come up with a better excuse. We've all heard that excuse and wah! Wah, wah, wah! Just because something happened to you doesn't mean you have to do it to someone else, nor does it make it okay. The content of those messages could make a sailor blush! I mean, seriously. I'm sure the writer of those messages could come up with a far better, less boring excuse.

Foley's lawyer presented this molestation information. He also mentioned that Foley is gay. This, according to Thomas Paine, would be known as heresay. We're hearing about Foley via a secondary source and not from Foley himself. This lawyer could be making up stuff willy-nilly.

The heresay business isn't what bothers me. It's just the darn lack of an original excuse. I mean, if you come up with an original excuse, that's what people will remember the most. They won't remember that you mentally assaulted teenage boys with sexual messages. They'll remember the wild and crazy excuse you gave.

Like my excuse for no longer watching Nip/Tuck, a show that I adored in its infancy. Of course, the show has lost its way in my eyes and gone a little crazy, but I was ready to give the show a new chance. Until...

I watched tonight's episode. In the first five minutes, I learned something from one of the episodes I had missed. The kid of Christian that was raised by Sean that looks frightningly like Michael Jackson? He's all in need of help and stuff. And he's found something to help him: Scientology.

Damn you, Tom Cruise! Can't you leave me alone for once? Everywhere I go, there you are, jumping up and down and preaching about your Scientology or boasting about your fake baby or the Joey Potter you brainwashed.

Seriously, just leave me alone, Tom Cruise. Go bother Mr. Foley and teach him to come up with a better excuse.