Bring On the Weird!

So, TomKitten has arrived. The world will be ending in 3...2...1...

I'm thoroughly disappointed. Although, I'm still not sure I believe that there is an actual baby. Sure, there are reports saying that Baby Suri was born yesterday and that TomKat "joyously" welcomed her arrival. And Katie has been looking fairly large lately. But it still seems like some big publicity stunt.

Until there is a paternity/maternity test done on the child to prove that it is the spawn of TomKat, I'm not going to believe it.

I'll just think of the baby as another poor, little adopted child Tom Cruisazy has added to his brood.

* * *

Cape Boy has been out in full force these last two days. And, for whatever reason, I seem to always run smack into him. These days, he's sporting a new cape. This one is long, black, and floor-length and it has... wait for it... a HOOD. Yesterday, he had this stupid cape on in the 90+ degree weather.

Picture this.... it's a nice, extremely warm spring day. You're walking across your beautiful campus to your intended destination when you see something that causes your breath to catch in your throat. Fear overtakes your body as you stare at the Ringwraith floating across the path in front of you.

Yes. A Ringwraith.

When Squirrels Attack, Part Deux

Do you remember this??

Today, I was walking back from Research Methods. Under the exact same tree as the acorn-dropping incident, there sat a little squirrel. This rodent was furiously burying something. I don't know what he was burying nor do I really care. But when I came upon him, he turned and glared at me.

I was about two feet away from him. I just looked at him as I walked past him. When I got about a foot or so in front of him, I turned my head.

That's when I hear it. The scamper, scamper, scamper of a squirrel in attack mode.

I quickly look behind me and there he is! Right on my heels! Chasing me!! He chased me for a good five feet before another little squirrel happened by his hidey-hole. That's when he stopped chasing me to defend his "treasure" from another "enemy."

I just kept thinking... I do NOT want a rabies shot!

Frightened Beyond Belief

Do not venture into an establishment called Chuck E. Cheese. I am telling you this for the safety of your immune system and your sanity.

Do not enter!

I willingly went into a local Chuck E. Cheese for a cousin's birthday party. It had been 14 years since my last venture into such a place. I have never been more frightened in my life.

I kid you not.

There were all these kids running around, squealing and screaming, placing their sticky, pizza-greased hands all over the place. In the back, there were six birthday parties going on, complete with a band composed of a purple fuzz ball, an overall-clothed dog, a pizza chef, a rodent, and a something-or-other that resembled a large Furby. Accompanying the awful warbling of these scary machines, there were these employees that were leading a gaggle of children in nonsensical dances and other weird games.

It was really just too much.

I was only there for thirty minutes. And believe me, it was thirty minutes too long. I am traumatized beyond belief. I think that I could be mugged and be less frightened.

I wish never to set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese again.

The Black Lung, Or Something Like It

I woke up this morning with the Black Lung. Though I have never been in the mining industry, or any industry for that matter, I have lung that's as black as night.

Okay, so maybe it's not the Black Lung. It's just Normal Lung with congestion. So sue me. I'm all cough-y, cough-y, which is unnecessary and embarrassing. I do not enjoy disrupting the surrounding environment because my lung feels the need to come out my mouth.

Ever wonder how far you'd go to keep someone you love out of harm's way? Would you stab someone to cover up a murder that your child committed, hoping that the stab wound would make others disregard some of the evidence?

Think about that for a while. And stay out of coal mines.