Back to School

It's that time again. Local stores have had their school supply aisles stocked and at the ready since mid-July. Excited parents have stalked up and down these aisles, dragging their children along behind them. The eager kids have helped destroy the aisles with their parents. The unhappy back-to-schoolers have poked listlessly at items pushed upon them by their parents.

And I have been down these aisles many a time, smelling crayons here and fondling loose-leaf paper there. I have been known to caress my favorite pens and leap with joy at the finding of Mr. Sketch markers. What can I say? I am a lover of school supplies and school in general.

What I do not love is having some crazy in three of my five classes. I take that back. He may or may not be crazy. I don't know the kid personally. I do know that the kid creeps me out and enjoys creeping others out. I've mentioned this child before. He is the one, the only Cape Boy.

Wednesday morning, I breeze into my first classroom (somewhat) ready for the new year. And two feet in the classroom, I stop. There he is. Cape Boy in his crazy long cape and his unwashed, unkempt hair.

I had to force myself to walk across the room. I was thisclose to running out. But I didn't. I went in there and had a lovely class.

After my first class, I proceeded to my second MWF class. I finish this class and remain in my seat because my next class is in the same room. I'm sitting there, organizing my notes, sipping some water, the usual in-between classness...

And in walks Cape Boy. Shoot me in the face. He sits down beside me. Oh, boy, someone really needs to shoot me in the face. After a few minutes of contemplation, CB gets up and decides he wants to sit in the seat directly behind me. Okay. Gun, please? Shoot me in the face. Now.

The entire class I just knew he was stealing hairs from my head to make some sort of voodoo hair doll. I try to remain calm. I tell myself that there is only one more class to sit through after this third one. And thankfully, CB is not in the fourth class. I breath a sigh of relief that I'll only have to see him 3 days a week.

Then, I walk into my Tuesday/Thursday class. Peek-a-boo. Guess who??

What the hell does he think he's doing? Is he stalking me? Because I know that he's a sophomore. These courses are upper-level courses. There's no way he could have satisfied all the prerequisites for this class. There is something seriously sinister and wrong. I don't like it at all.

If I should disappear for some great period of time, someone should check Cape Boy's secret lair. I'm sure he'll have me stashed away near some shrine of tk or something.

I seriously need to take up jujitsu or karate. Something martial artsy.