- Tom Cruise - Dude, you have got to stop. Like, absolutely stop everything you're doing. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just stop. Stop jumping on couches. Stop changing people's names. Stop shoving Scientology in people's faces. Stop trying to take over the freakin' world. Just stop. Do not make any more movies or public appearances. S. T. O. P. Please, go shack up with your religion under the nearest rock and stay there.
- JJ Abrams - Oh, dear JJ, I used to love and adore you so much. And then, you failed me. Stop creating new television shows willy-nilly. Stop using your television shows to influence major motion pictures, like Mission Impossible: 3, or your other television shows, like Lost. While I have not personally viewed MI:3, which is something I never plan to do, as it stars the aforementioned Tom Cruise, I have heard< from several individuals that it is one huge Alias fest. Now, while I love Alias, Mission Impossible is its own franchise. Just because you're the director does not mean you can add 47s, Rambaldi-related information, and other Alias influences into the film. Was Alias apart of the original Mission Impossible back in the day? No. It wasn't. And what is with the influence of Alias on Lost? I mean, hello!?! These people are lost on a freakin' island. They're not spies nor do they know a thing about being spy-like. Dude, just come up with some original ideas. Stop rehashing the same ideas in different mediums.
- Simon Cowell - Okay, I usually support your opinions in regards to the American Idol competition. But lately? You're freakin' rude. I understand you're British and that the British are sometimes perceived as rude. But Peter, Paul, and Mary! Was there a reason to put down Elliott Yamin like that this evening? You completely patronized the poor guy! And he certainly doesn't need your patronizing, condescending attitude. I can even begin to describe how badly you need to stop what you're doing.
Again, I reserve the right to add to this list at any time.
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