An Order to Cease and Desist

This is an official order for the following people to cease and desist. Whatever you're doing or whatever you have been doing, you need to stop and move along. You are polluting an already polluted world and I will not tolerate such nonsense any longer.

1. Black Eyed Peas - This is your final warning. Any more songs about humps or other lovely lady lumps will result in some bad karma. Very bad karma.
2. Gwen Stefani - Just have your baby and quit singing ridiculous songs that end up nominated for the Grammys.
3. Mariah Carey - Shut the hell up already. And for the love of God, put some clothes on!
4. Chris Brown - I know you're new to the music scene and everything, but you're thoroughly annoying.
5. Shania Twain - Has anyone ever told you how annoying and awful your voice sounds?
6. Britney Spears - Okay, lesson learned: we don't drive around with our kiddos unrestrained on our laps. However, you need to take a bath before you go out in public. And please, brush your teeth and comb your hair. And NEVER walk barefoot through a public restroom. That is all kinds of unsanitary.
7. Kevin Federline - You're an idiot. Perhaps the smartest idiot alive, but an idiot nonetheless. And your new song? It sucks.
8. Tara Reid - I don't even know what to say to you. Just stay at home, out of sight, for the rest of your life.
9. Derrell and Terrell Brittenum (from American Idol 5) - You guys think you're all that and a bag of whatever's popular at the time. You're not. You don't have wonderful singing voices. And don't dis Carrie Underwood. She's got a voice. You do not.
10. Paris Hilton - Just shut up and stay home. No more saying "That's hot!" or anything else unintelligent. Or starting feuds, losing your Sidekick, or adopting animals that aren't meant to be adopted and toted around all over creation.

This is not a complete listing of those needing to cease and desist. I reserve the right to add or make changes to the list whenever I so choose.