Things to Do

1. Try to track down some advisory figure that knows why the hell my degree is so screwed up. Only one class required for my degree is being offered next semester.

2. Write a document bequeathing all of my personal effects and assets to the people I deem important.

3. Think of creative and exciting ways to jump off the nearest cliff.

4. Actually jump off the nearest cliff.

"I'll Never Let Go, Jack. I'll Never Let Go."

I live in a five story building. About 1 a.m. earlier today, I was treated to a loud beating upon my door, and a voice yelling that I had to get up because we had to evacuate the building.

What? Was my suitemate for real? I mean, there weren't any sirens going off or anything. Did she just think it would be funny to wake me from a deep sleep and tell me to get the heck out of dodge? 'Cause if she thinks that waking me up would be funny, she's got another thing coming.

I jump out of bed and fling open the door.

"You have to get up. The building is flooding. We have to go now!"

So, probably as confused as I have ever been in my life, I shove my feet into some flip-flops and wrap my jacket around me. I grab my purse and my laptop. I follow my suitemate out of our suite.

And that's when I hear it. The sound of rushing water... rushing somewhere. There's someone beating on the other side of the exit door to the secret stairs. I open the door to find a few guys trying to escape the flood.

We follow the guys to the next set of stairs. The sound of water is much louder by these stairs than by the first set. Some of the guys tear down the stairs. And they quickly come back up.

"Find another way out. Unless you're wanting to swim, try the other stairs."

Where are we? On the damn Titanic?

So, we pass by the elevators and head to the next (and final) set of stairs. We rush down them. Thankfully, they have not filled with water. We exit the building. And we have no idea what to do. We can't go back in. The bottom two floors are full of water. The elevators have turned into a waterfall! Water is streaming down the stairs, through the ceiling, and is making gigantic puddles on the first floor of my residence hall.

I walk to my truck and decide I'm going to Nat's house. I am freaking out because my home is filling up with water and I remember that I didn't take Bradley's laptop with me! How stupid of me! I should have thought to grab her laptop before I made my escape.

Anyway. I venture back to my flooded building later today to see what the damage is. The first and second floors are still drying out. The drying out process will probably take a few days. This place reeks of wet dog. The elevators are out of commission until further notice. That's fine, because I rarely take the elevators. But I do feel bad for those that live on the fifth floor and will be taking the stairs indefinitely. How long does it take two elevator shafts to dry out after being waterfalls? I imagine all the circuitry will have to be replaced. Or not. I don't know.

As it turns out, the guys of the second floor were indulging themselves in a little game of midnight football. One of the darling yahoos threw the ball and broke off a sprinkler head. Since they won't rat each other out, all the kids of the second floor are being held responsible for the time being. Or so I've been told.

I really wish that their parents had taught them that it is not polite to play football in doors.

"You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'...."

This girl drives by me today, belting out this song. She has her stereo turned way up and she's rockin' out to You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin' as she drives through campus.

Anyway, Anonymous-Singer-Girl is my hero for the day. She pulled a me. Of course, my song of choice lately is either Build Me Up, Buttercup or Love Is A Battlefield, but still. She rocks. I'd like to shake her hand.

So, I've been very aggravated as of late. I know, I know.... when am I not aggravated at something or someone? But seriously, this is getting crazy.

There's a post in the future that will be very rant-y and very anti-Black Eyed Peas.

You have been warned.

YAY!

Congratulations, Natty-Batty-Ladybug-Bungalow-Builder!!

I am so very proud of you! I knew you could do it! You're my hero!

When Squirrels Attack

So, today, I was walking to my Government class. I was just walking along, looking at the early morning around me. All of a sudden, I feel this sharp pain on my left shoulder. It felt as though someone had hit me with something!

I looked at the ground and saw the offensive object: an acorn!

I knew there was no one behind me. So, immediately, I glance up at the massive tree beside me. And there, on a branch halfway up the tree, sits a squirrel. He stares at me, laughter dancing in his beady little eyes.

And that's when I realized. I had been hit by a squirrel. A damn squirrel threw an acorn at me!

A squirrel!

Now, I know that it sounds completely insane. But I'm here to tell you, squirrels on college campuses are mean. MEAN! I've seen them attack humans on more than one occasion.

But most people think of squirrels as being cute and cuddly. That's exactly what they want you to think! You believe them to be merry little acorn gatherers. In reality, they're gearing up for the War of the Species: Squirrel vs. Man!

The US government needs to waste some money looking into stopping that nonsense.

Burning Bridges

I believe that my all-time favorite song has changed from Mad World by Gary Jules to Burning Bridges by Jason Mraz.

I know exactly how you feel
You were this close to closing deals now
When everything fell from out your hands
You were forced to decide on other plans now
You figured it best to just ignore it
Otherwise you're only living for it, yeah
And if anyone ever wondered why you did it
You swear they'd never know you sold your soul to the
Burning, burning, burning bridges

You know exactly what I want so
I don't have to be so damn up front
No matter the moment we decide to make our minds up
I know a man who may need a new assignment
To hand in his heart and take his last vacation
Attempting to spoil imagination
If anyone ever wonders where he went
I wouldn't say that he spent his time driving over
Burning, burning, burning bridges
Burning, burning which is nothing more
than a longing for being uninvolved
Uninvolved
Uninvolved
Uninvolved

Oh, desire can cause heartattacks
Oh, desire can cause heartattacks
Oh, desire can cause heartattacks
Oh, desire, it won't bring you back

A Near Passer-Outer!

So, apparently, me giving blood equals near passing-out business.

Today, I thought I'd be a hero and give some blood. I mean, it's for a good cause and all. So, before my first class, I met Ladybug at the blood-donation-station. After answering all the pertinent questions and verifying the amount of iron (not copper!) in my blood, I allowed the friendly nurse to stab my right arm in search of a good vein.

It didn't take her long to find one. And now the blood is pouring out of my arm, through a clear tube, and into one of the waiting three to four bags for collection of my blood.

And I'm doing fine. The nurse checks on me every few minutes and things are going swell. She comes over to take a look at my progress and says, "Almost finished."

"Good," I reply. "'Cause I don't feel so great."

Things start going black. I close my eyes, hoping to shake the blackness off. I reopen my eyes. There are five or six nurses around me, all doing different things. One is wrapping my arm. Another is calling my name, instructing me to breathe in my nose and out my mouth. There's one behind me, taking my jacket off of me and sticking ice packs on my neck and back. Another is waiting with a bag in case I decided to puke my guts up (which, unfortunately, I did). And still another is telling me to look at her and not close my eyes.

It was hard to hear what was going on around me. There was this loud roaring sound in my ears. And I couldn't get enough air, it seemed.

It was a really scary experience at the time it was happening. Of course, now, I'm just embarrassed and mortified.

I had to stay there for a while. I couldn't leave until I ate something. And then, they had a nurse walk me to my class.

It was not fun.

So, my good deed of donating blood nearly caused me to pass out. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Procreation Must Stop!

So, the inevitable has happened. The horrible awful outcome of a bizarre and twisted relationship has finally come to fruition.

Tom Cruise and Kate Holmes are expecting a child.

I'm sure that the Scientology Community is extremely happy for them. I mean, after all, the Scientologists have a new heir to the throne. They have Tom's little one to carry on after Tom goes off to that great Scientology meeting in the sky.

I had thought that since he had adopted children with Nicole Kidman, I would not have to worry about his cruisaziness getting passed on to any unfortunate offspring. Apparently, I was wrong. This poor child is going to have to deal with countless renditions of others jumping up and down on couches like crazed, maniacal Tom Cruises.

It's just... mindblowing. He never should have been allowed to procreate. What have we done to deserve such an awful punishment??