Dear Maroon Eclipse Owner,
If someone had told me earlier today that I would spend 45 minutes waiting behind you in your maroon Eclipse at the commercial window of the bank's drive-in, I would have cackled in their general direction. Who spends 45 minutes at a bank drive-in? No one! A bank drive-in is there to make things more convenient for the customers. You may have to wait ten minutes or so, but then you deposit your money and you're on your way. Easy peasy.
This was what I thought before I met you. No more! Because you felt the need to hoard your business deposits for the last three months, I was forced to sit behind you and wait for 45 minutes. And because of the people coming in and waiting behind me, I couldn't move and had to sit there for the entire 45 minutes. 45 minutes! It truly boggles the mind.
Truthfully, I didn't need those 45 minutes. It's not like I had anywhere I really needed to be. I wanted to get to a store before it closed and, thanks to your benevolence, I was able to get to the store with ten minutes to spare. So, no, I really didn't need that almost hour of my life that you stole.
Do you want to know what I did while exiled in my car for 45 minutes? I spent the time wondering what the hell you were doing and what your freakin' problem was. Thankfully, the bank employees told me that you are a fruitcake who doesn't make regular bank deposits. Of course, they didn't call you a fruitcake (that was one of my nicer words describing you), but they did tell me to get mad at you instead of them. Which leads me to a side note: lobbies of main bank branches should stay open until at least 5 p.m. Closing at 4 p.m. is stupid and ridiculous. Have freakin' regular business hours! You're the main branch of a fairly large bank. I KNOW you've got the money to stay open the extra hour. You're flippin' lazy. Why anyone does business with you I will never understand.
In any case, Maroon Eclipse Owner, I hope you enjoyed monopolizing the commercial window more than I enjoyed waiting on your stupidity to get the eff out of my way. Thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart.
And, yes, that was my roommate that honked at you on the street.
Monday, January 5
Wednesday, December 31
2008 In Review
Things I learned in 2008:
Health insurance isn't worth having if they refuse to pay for anything and everything.
People like to hide behind your vehicle when you're backing out of parking spaces at Target.
Hulu is awesome! You can watch all sorts of things on there legally. It's wonderful.
Twilight isn't as evil as I thought it would be. However, it is not a literary classic. If you think it is a literary classic, I suggest you visit a library or bookstore more frequently. Also, the movie is quite fun.
Our president-elect inspires hope in many people of various backgrounds, ages, ethnicities, and beliefs.
Dr. Horrible has a Ph.D. in Horribleness. He is truly very horrible and very awesome at the same time.
I can navigate myself through airports and travel on my own! Who knew?
Jason Mraz sounds even better when you travel ten hours to see him perform live.
Having a job can be both a blessing and a giant nuisance.
Living in a house that is in a safe neighborhood is mucho better than living in a duplex in a semi-slightly-scary neighborhood.
Brooklyn is a wonderful place to visit.
I have way too much music and I keep acquiring more music. It's a disease.
Governor Blagojevich is an arrogant fool.
When going to Nashville, it is imperative to pay attention to the highway signage in Little Rock. Otherwise, you'll end up in rice fields. And rice fields can be scary.
I am a very good house finder.
The Olympics are super fun. The summer Olympics are far superior to the winter Olympics. Also, Michael Phelps is fan-freakin'-tastic.
It is quite comical to throw one's shoes at a foe, especially if the foe is the President of the United States.
Jim proposed to Pam! Also, do not cross Phyllis.
Wisdom teeth do not carry wisdom and are extremely painful to have removed, especially when they're yanked from your jaw while you're still awake and can hear the pliers hitting your other teeth.
Natalies are good things to have around.
When regular people are drowning in their debt, they file bankruptcy. When companies and corporations have financial trouble, the government gives them taxpayer money to continue making stupid financial decisions.
There must be something in the water because most people I know either got married, had a baby, or are currently pregnant or engaged. Good thing my water is filtered. ;)
Amy Poehler + Seth Meyers = Pure genius.
ETA: Also, Tina Fey is amazing and freakin' hilarious. Someone awesome reminded me that watching Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was one of the best things to come out of the election. Thanks, Amb!
Health insurance isn't worth having if they refuse to pay for anything and everything.
People like to hide behind your vehicle when you're backing out of parking spaces at Target.
Hulu is awesome! You can watch all sorts of things on there legally. It's wonderful.
Twilight isn't as evil as I thought it would be. However, it is not a literary classic. If you think it is a literary classic, I suggest you visit a library or bookstore more frequently. Also, the movie is quite fun.
Our president-elect inspires hope in many people of various backgrounds, ages, ethnicities, and beliefs.
Dr. Horrible has a Ph.D. in Horribleness. He is truly very horrible and very awesome at the same time.
I can navigate myself through airports and travel on my own! Who knew?
Jason Mraz sounds even better when you travel ten hours to see him perform live.
Having a job can be both a blessing and a giant nuisance.
Living in a house that is in a safe neighborhood is mucho better than living in a duplex in a semi-slightly-scary neighborhood.
Brooklyn is a wonderful place to visit.
I have way too much music and I keep acquiring more music. It's a disease.
Governor Blagojevich is an arrogant fool.
When going to Nashville, it is imperative to pay attention to the highway signage in Little Rock. Otherwise, you'll end up in rice fields. And rice fields can be scary.
I am a very good house finder.
The Olympics are super fun. The summer Olympics are far superior to the winter Olympics. Also, Michael Phelps is fan-freakin'-tastic.
It is quite comical to throw one's shoes at a foe, especially if the foe is the President of the United States.
Jim proposed to Pam! Also, do not cross Phyllis.
Wisdom teeth do not carry wisdom and are extremely painful to have removed, especially when they're yanked from your jaw while you're still awake and can hear the pliers hitting your other teeth.
Natalies are good things to have around.
When regular people are drowning in their debt, they file bankruptcy. When companies and corporations have financial trouble, the government gives them taxpayer money to continue making stupid financial decisions.
There must be something in the water because most people I know either got married, had a baby, or are currently pregnant or engaged. Good thing my water is filtered. ;)
Amy Poehler + Seth Meyers = Pure genius.
ETA: Also, Tina Fey is amazing and freakin' hilarious. Someone awesome reminded me that watching Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was one of the best things to come out of the election. Thanks, Amb!
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