I've fallen in love with Steve from Blue's Clues.
I don't know if it is because he is one cute kid. Or not kid. Adult-person. Either way, he's quite adorable.
I don't know if it is because he's pretty much the only human I see in a sea of cartoons.
I don't know if it is because his actions and facial expressions on the show have become hilariously funny to me in recent hours.
Perhaps I have lost my mind.
ETA: My uncle believes Steve to be gay. If you are attracted to other male-lings, Steve, please do not tell me. You're my only hope in a crazy mix of SpongeBob, Backyardigans, Oswald, and Miss Spiders.
Thursday, May 31
Friday, May 25
"Well, let me tell YOU something..."
I was playing a Mortal Kombat tetris game against my cousin. Her little sister watched me play for a while in apparent dissatisfaction. After a few minutes, she sighed dramatically and said "Well, let me tell you something, Baby Sitter, you're bad at this game."
Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Princess Obvious.
Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Princess Obvious.
Monday, May 21
There's No Cure for Stupidity
Not even a college degree will help.
Yesterday, after shelling out $3.30 for each gallon of gas I pumped into my little truck, I came home with an alarming idea.
I decided it would be a good idea to clean the stove/oven. I decided it would be wise to take out the racks and spray them down with cleaner and scrub them until I had acquired black grease and grime up to my elbows. Then, I decided to soak the inside of the oven with cleaner and scrub until the black gunk was up to my shoulders. For some reason, I figured if I sprayed stuff into the oven and onto the racks and let them soak for a while, clean up would be easy-peasy.
It wasn't. I don't know what possessed me to do this act of ignorance.
After cleaning for a good thirty to forty-five minutes, the oven was not even remotely spotless. It is cleaner than it was before the cleaning spree, but it is still full of icky gunk that I couldn't remove with any amount of scrubbing and swearing.
Since my hand shook uncontrollably for nearly an hour after the cleaning process, I have decided that instead of cleaning the stove in the future, it is best just to buy a new one every couple of years or so.
I am so dumb.
Yesterday, after shelling out $3.30 for each gallon of gas I pumped into my little truck, I came home with an alarming idea.
I decided it would be a good idea to clean the stove/oven. I decided it would be wise to take out the racks and spray them down with cleaner and scrub them until I had acquired black grease and grime up to my elbows. Then, I decided to soak the inside of the oven with cleaner and scrub until the black gunk was up to my shoulders. For some reason, I figured if I sprayed stuff into the oven and onto the racks and let them soak for a while, clean up would be easy-peasy.
It wasn't. I don't know what possessed me to do this act of ignorance.
After cleaning for a good thirty to forty-five minutes, the oven was not even remotely spotless. It is cleaner than it was before the cleaning spree, but it is still full of icky gunk that I couldn't remove with any amount of scrubbing and swearing.
Since my hand shook uncontrollably for nearly an hour after the cleaning process, I have decided that instead of cleaning the stove in the future, it is best just to buy a new one every couple of years or so.
I am so dumb.
Saturday, May 5
I Really Don't Know About Some People...
I'm watching Man vs. Wild. I don't know why I'm watching it. I just am.
Anyhow. The "man" is wandering through the Kenyan savanna searching for water and people. He's doing this to show us how to get out alive. You know, if we're ever in the Kenyan savanna and find ourselves lost.
He comes along this incredibly poisonous snake, which he tells us that once bitten, a person will die within 24 hours without medical treatment. Then, he picks up a stick and pokes the snake with it, saying, "I'm deliberately provoking the animal..."
Why do they do that? And in they, I mean the nature people that go around the world and intentionally pester animals to show the uneducated public what the animals can and will do. They all do it. They all find the most poisonous, most dangerous animal and poke it and prod it to get a reaction. I'm sorry, but that's stupid. And it is exactly why Steve Irwin died. He was bothering things he didn't need to be bothering and BAM! Nature took him out. Come on, people! Leave nature the f alone!
So, after trying to get bitten by this venomous snake, he's wandering through the savanna in search of water. But he can't find any that is clean enough to not kill him. He finds a stagnant pool of water with a dead turtle. He decides that he probably shouldn't drink that water (smart move, oh stupid one!). But he's so thirsty. He can't go on any longer.
To satisfy his thirst, he picks up some elephant poo and squeezes the juice out of it and into his mouth.
I nearly threw up my ENTIRE stomach. It was disgusting.
I don't understand why he did it. He's wandering around the savanna with a freakin' camera crew! It's not like he's alone. And it's a real crew. It's not just some guy with a steady cam. I am more than sure that the camera guy has a bottle of Evian to satifsy the guy's thirst. And after he drinks elephant poo juice, he comments that he probably just swallowed a lot of nasty bacteria. No shit, Sherlock.
During the night time, he's walking towards his intended destination of the mountains. He spots a lone elephant. And he tells the camera that he can't let the elephant see him or smell him. Why? He doesn't want the elephant to charge him because it is nighttime.
Call me crazy, but I think that an elephant charging a person at ANY time is not good. At night, you'll probably see less of yourself getting trampled to bits. And he'd totally trample you, dude. You were drinking his poo juice.
I can't get over that. I'm disturbed by this man's actions. As the sun rises, he sees the mountain is closer (because he's walked all night). He estimates that it is 10 miles away. "It's not that far!!"
This kid is delusional.
And now he's tearing into a dead zebra. He's actually biting pieces of meat OFF the zebra. Dude is eating raw zebra and spits a piece out because it's a "nasty bit." Because the kill is fresh and he doesn't want to end up dead beside the poor zebra, he cuts off a slab of zebra and shoves it into his pocket.
This man needs to be stopped.
He's taking precautions against mosquitos and malaria by burning a plant called Blackjack on the fire. I'm pretty sure that this guy has been vaccinated against malaria. Or if not, his camera crew will swoop in and get him to medical safety.
Elephant Poo Boy is now making a fire out of dried elephant dung. Man's got a problem. He's obsessed with elephant feces. And now he's going on about the fact that the fumes of elephant dung do not smell "nice." Really? I'd have imagined the smell of roses and wildflowers.
He finally finds a cabin in the mountain area and goes bebopping in to these people's house unannounced and uninvited. And you were worried about elephants charging you in the night? He's lost his marbles. His cheese has slid off his cracker and some marsupial in the savanna is feeding off it.
You know, I could see if you were really and truly lost in the Kenyan savanna, you might be desperate enough to eat raw zebra and drink from the juice of elephant poo. But this guy isn't really stranded! That's what's so disturbing. He's trying to show the audience how to survive in the savanna.
But I have a better idea. Don't get lost in the savanna. The end. It's not rocket science.
Anyhow. The "man" is wandering through the Kenyan savanna searching for water and people. He's doing this to show us how to get out alive. You know, if we're ever in the Kenyan savanna and find ourselves lost.
He comes along this incredibly poisonous snake, which he tells us that once bitten, a person will die within 24 hours without medical treatment. Then, he picks up a stick and pokes the snake with it, saying, "I'm deliberately provoking the animal..."
Why do they do that? And in they, I mean the nature people that go around the world and intentionally pester animals to show the uneducated public what the animals can and will do. They all do it. They all find the most poisonous, most dangerous animal and poke it and prod it to get a reaction. I'm sorry, but that's stupid. And it is exactly why Steve Irwin died. He was bothering things he didn't need to be bothering and BAM! Nature took him out. Come on, people! Leave nature the f alone!
So, after trying to get bitten by this venomous snake, he's wandering through the savanna in search of water. But he can't find any that is clean enough to not kill him. He finds a stagnant pool of water with a dead turtle. He decides that he probably shouldn't drink that water (smart move, oh stupid one!). But he's so thirsty. He can't go on any longer.
To satisfy his thirst, he picks up some elephant poo and squeezes the juice out of it and into his mouth.
I nearly threw up my ENTIRE stomach. It was disgusting.
I don't understand why he did it. He's wandering around the savanna with a freakin' camera crew! It's not like he's alone. And it's a real crew. It's not just some guy with a steady cam. I am more than sure that the camera guy has a bottle of Evian to satifsy the guy's thirst. And after he drinks elephant poo juice, he comments that he probably just swallowed a lot of nasty bacteria. No shit, Sherlock.
During the night time, he's walking towards his intended destination of the mountains. He spots a lone elephant. And he tells the camera that he can't let the elephant see him or smell him. Why? He doesn't want the elephant to charge him because it is nighttime.
Call me crazy, but I think that an elephant charging a person at ANY time is not good. At night, you'll probably see less of yourself getting trampled to bits. And he'd totally trample you, dude. You were drinking his poo juice.
I can't get over that. I'm disturbed by this man's actions. As the sun rises, he sees the mountain is closer (because he's walked all night). He estimates that it is 10 miles away. "It's not that far!!"
This kid is delusional.
And now he's tearing into a dead zebra. He's actually biting pieces of meat OFF the zebra. Dude is eating raw zebra and spits a piece out because it's a "nasty bit." Because the kill is fresh and he doesn't want to end up dead beside the poor zebra, he cuts off a slab of zebra and shoves it into his pocket.
This man needs to be stopped.
He's taking precautions against mosquitos and malaria by burning a plant called Blackjack on the fire. I'm pretty sure that this guy has been vaccinated against malaria. Or if not, his camera crew will swoop in and get him to medical safety.
Elephant Poo Boy is now making a fire out of dried elephant dung. Man's got a problem. He's obsessed with elephant feces. And now he's going on about the fact that the fumes of elephant dung do not smell "nice." Really? I'd have imagined the smell of roses and wildflowers.
He finally finds a cabin in the mountain area and goes bebopping in to these people's house unannounced and uninvited. And you were worried about elephants charging you in the night? He's lost his marbles. His cheese has slid off his cracker and some marsupial in the savanna is feeding off it.
You know, I could see if you were really and truly lost in the Kenyan savanna, you might be desperate enough to eat raw zebra and drink from the juice of elephant poo. But this guy isn't really stranded! That's what's so disturbing. He's trying to show the audience how to survive in the savanna.
But I have a better idea. Don't get lost in the savanna. The end. It's not rocket science.
Thursday, May 3
The End is Near
I completed my last class today as a college student. Once I finish the paper for that class (within the next 20 hours) and take four finals next week, I'll be a full-fledged graduate.
Kind of scary, isn't it?
Kind of scary, isn't it?
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