If the Moon Was Out, It'd Be Full

If the Moon was out last night, it'd totally have been full. Weird things were popping up everywhere.

Take Wal-Mart, for example. As Natty and I passed by the music section, we were treated to the vocal talents of a seven-year-old girl belting out Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl. I still haven't figured out exactly what a "hollaback girl" is, but this darling child seemed to know what it was all about. The child had been listening to a music preview of Gwen's latest album when she was overtaken by the music. She opened her little mouth and let the nonsense lyrics fly out and land where they may.

Apparently, the child was not aware that everyone could hear her as she sang at the top of her lungs. It's like people picking their noses while in their cars at a stoplight. For some reason, no one realizes that they can be seen by the whole damn universe!

Also, in the Wal-Mart, Natty and I were followed by the blue-haired Cape Crusader. Yes.... followed by a young adult with blue hair wearing a cape. This youngling was not quite as frightening as the Cape Boy I have to sit next to in Religions class. But the sight of this blue-haired individual was thoroughly unnerving. He proceeded to follow us down several aisles, which made me wish I had a panic button like the kids get on Commander-In-Chief.

But alas, I am just a normal individual and not the child of the leader of the free world. Woe is me.

After our Wal-Mart outing, we drove through town. Terrible mistake. Every young adult imaginable had to be out there. Mass congregations of teenlings around clumps of vehicles had invaded various parking lots. Every child from the age of 12-19 had to have been out there! There were so many of them! I can't even begin to make an estimate of how many teenlings were out last night. A whole freakin' lot of them, that's for sure.

And just where were the parents of these heathen children?

Crisis Averted and Other Randomness

Major has been figured out. I will no longer feel the need to fling myself off the nearest cliff. Although, I did think of some interesting ways in which to fling myself off of said cliff. Oh, well. Another day, I suppose.

My cell phone has been acting totally screwy. It is not polite to act in the manner in which it has been acting. Not polite at all! I've been searching for a replacement phone, but to no avail. Damn the Man!

In my store, a guy walked in with his girl. She bought him a drink and was rewarded with a kiss.
That display was nearly rewarded with my projectile vomiting. People should realize that my acid reflux is acting up and I can't keep things down.

Hiccups keep bubbling out of me. It's annoying and painful. I'm tired of the hiccups. I feel like I'm under attack or something. Having the hiccups all the time is really unattractive.

Last night's Boston Legal dealt with the problem of beastiality ruining marriages. Well, I guess the marriage wasn't really ruined. The character "broke it off" with Wendy, his bovine lover. And his wife took him back because he promised to sell Wendy. But still. I just can't fathom having a cow lover. The wife caught him making love to their cow! A cow! The logistics of the whole idea .... I cannot comprehend.